Voiko narsistimiestä rakastaa

Jos haluat pitää terveytesi, en suosittele. Jos olet sen tyyppinen, että kaipaat kylmää miestä, joka tarjoaa jännitystä, kaikin mokomin.

Ei muutu. Karkottaa ihmiset ennemmin tai myöhemmin pois luotaan.

Tottakai voi rakastaa, mutta kaukaa...

Toi narsisti on niin yleisesti viljelty haukkumasana, varsinkin palstalla.
Kukaan ei kuitenkaan kasvotusten sitä kellekään sanoisi.
Ota selvää siitä miehestä mikä hän on ja millainen ja rakastu sitten sen tuntemuksen ja kokemuksen perusteella.
Vai onko sulla kiikarissa joku jolle on annettu oikein narsisti diagnoosi?
Sekin selviää tutustumalla ja kokeilemalla.

Etsii aina uuden ihmisen uhriksi. Jos nyt ei jotain murrettua niin ettei ole voimia lähteä. Toki vanhuus varmasti vaikuttaa myöhemmin ihmiseen. Joskus miettinyt minkäänlaista se on olla vaikka omaishoitaja ihmiselle joka terrorisoinut koko elämänsä toisen elämää.

Keksitkö sormettamisen uudelleen?

Ei voi eikä muutu.

Jos on aidosti narsisti, niin se on persoonallisuushäiriö eikä siitä "parane".

Äreät vanhat papat huonoine hampaineen 😄

Sillä ne uhkaa, et kokelaat loppuu jos on liian nirso, kaatuupahan saappaat jalassa että ei pelota en laske rimaa

Mikään sana ei ole kärsinyt niin älytöntä inflaatiota kuin narsisti. Se ei tarkoita enää yhtään mitään, koska se voi tarkoittaa kunkin mielestä lähes mitä tahansa.

Voi narsistimiestä rakastaa mutta eri asia kannattaako. Itse jättäisin rakkauden toteuttamattomaksi ja rakastaisin itseäni vielä enemmän niin että narsisti jää varjoksi taakse.

Olemattoman pienellä todennäköisyydellä mä olen riittävän etäältä seurannu narsisti naisen kehitystä jos se ny on johonkin suuntaan reilun kahdenkymmenen vuoden aikana muuttunu ni huonompaan

Mun sukulaisnainen narsistivanhus, ihan seinähullu ja pahantahtoinen teeskentelijä joka vahingoittaa henkisesti heti kun saa tilaisuuden. En ole tekemisissä.

Surullista se, että ennen kun kusi meni päähän ja alkoi manipuloimaan, niin hänkin oli ihan kiva ja herttainen ihminen ja minun lapsuuden läheisin ihminen. Muuttui täysin tunnistamattomaksi luonteeltaan. Hän vaan ilmeisesti antoi periksi kaikille paskoille yllykkeilleen ja kehitys meni sen mukaan.

Kannattaa miettiä, millainen puoliso on ja miksi hän kehittyy, siinä kun 40 lähestyy, niin elämänkriisit on jo tehnyt monesta katkeran luovuttajan. Ihmisen huonot puolet korostuu kun tulee vanhuus ja seniliteetti miehillä varsinkin.

Kun ulkonäkö muuttuu, niin se on kova paikka monelle ja heijastuu myös puolisoon.

Ihminen jolle yhteys on tärkein asis ja joka jaksaa uskoa siihen hyvään mitä elämässä on, niin on arvokas löytö.

Itse tuuppaan eteenpäin enkä meinaa luovuttaa. Ja ihan pikku vinkkinä: mitään katkeraa luovuttajaa tai ulkonäkö/rahakeskeistä kyttäävää kiviriippaa en todellakaan huoli kumppaniksi. Olkoot keskenään, oon liian hyvä paskaan seuraan.

Juuri tuo on narskun tulevaisuus. Yksinäisyys.

ei kannata. mitä nopeemmin jätät sen parempi. itse naisena olin suhteessa narsisti naisen kanssa ja monta vuotta meni palautua siitä suhteesta/ löytää oman itsensä. nyt niin ihastunut pitkästä aikaa mieheen, joten toivoa on löytää se ihana ❤

Narsisti suhteessa tekee sinusta tuhkaa.tahdoit tai et💩

Sä voit aina hajottaa itsesi olemalla
hänen tiskirättinsä ja käyttötavaransa ja peilinsä
Se on niin et se vaikka olisit miten nurkaanalistettu ja omanarvon tunnoton ja vaatimaton seuraajaluonne joka nautin elää toisen varjossa ja hyydyläsenä ilman mitään omaa tilaa tai mitään hetkee et sä saat jotenkin
Ja että sun toiveet täyttyy ..
Älä mee siihen harhaan joo se muuttuu rakkaudesta suhun
Ei muutu.
Mut pysyy sun ympärillä niin kauan kun oot pelinappula ja kyltisti hyödyksi
Narsittit voi aina vaihtaa sut hyödylisempään

Mä en usko että haluat elää koko elämäsi hyödykkeenä...
Ainiin valtaosalla vielä se et on väkivaltasuuttaki .
Eli lisäät pakettiin vielä sen et saat pelätä .
Heti sen jälkeen kun hurmurivaihe on ohi.
Se ei kestä pitäköän .
Eli narsismin kannattattaa venytyää kaikkia suunnitelmia ja haaveita et saat nähä sen mitä hän on pahimillaan eikä vain hurmuria
Jotku narsistit kehittyy kyllä huomaamaan omia vikojaan ja tunnistamaan piirteitään mutta sitä tasapuolista hyvää rakastettua ei tuu eikä ole.
Sä annat ja narsti saa. Ei toisinpäin.
Sä oot yleisö ja ihailija ja hyödyke ....
Tulee päivä kun sä haluat olla tärkeä
Se joka on ykkönen syn elämässä ..
Kerron näitä hyvällä kun oon ollu narsistien kanssa koko elämän ja oon itsekin sellainen ...

Entä naista joka on narsisti?

Voin vakuuttaa ettemme muutu kuin korkeintaan pahemmiksi.Yksin olemme olleet aina, vaikka olisimme ihmisten keskellä, koska emme kykene tuntemaan yhteyttä muihin ihmisiin.

Narsku ei tajuu olevansa narsku.narsku on tuhooja.

1. They manufacture chaos by frequently pushing your trigger buttons to exhaust and disorient you so you’re less able to fight back.

Narcissists and psychopaths know exactly which trigger buttons to push – and that’s usually because they installed them in the first place. They know exactly what to mention and how to act in order to provoke your emotions and depict you as “crazy” when you do. During the abuse cycle, they implant insecurities in you and watch you unravel as you fixate on them. They will do this so chronically that you are constantly scrambling to defend, react, and overexplain yourself and become too exhausted to detach from the relationship. This is their equivalent of playing with their “food” or prey and injuring it immensely before devouring it.

2. They retraumatize you using your previous traumas and wounds. As difficult as it may be to accept, some narcissists and psychopaths enjoy deliberately rubbing salt on your wounds just to observe your reactions and see how much they can taunt you. That is why they will weaponize the past traumas, insecurities, and fears you’ve disclosed to them against you. For example, if a narcissist or psychopath knows you have been sexually assaulted, they may start referencing victim-blaming beliefs just to taunt you. Or, they may make callous “jokes” about an insecurity you’ve told them about (such as a feature of your face or body), only to claim they were teasing or that you are too sensitive. Regardless of how “off-limits” a topic may be or how inhumane these tactics may seem, they will exploit any vulnerabilities they are aware of or suspect you have. That’s why it’s important to limit disclosure of past traumas and insecurities to partners – until they’ve proven their character long-term.

Kolmonen kiinnostava:

They bait and set you up with information to react to – just so they can rage and engage in crazymaking arguments. There are times narcissists and psychopaths will purposely give you provocative, triggering or contradictory information in order to make you question them, exhaust yourself attempting to understand what they mean or constantly ask for further clarification. They will also frame your calm questions as an “interrogation” so they have an excuse to gaslight and condition you to walk on eggshells around them. This is a set up for them to talk in circles, manufacture chaos and rage, just so they can depict you as crazy. Psychopathy expert Dr. Robert Hare calls this a form of “cold” manufactured rage – one that is not authentic but rather displayed in a shallow, short-lived way to control the victim and keep the victim in his or her “place.” In reality, they wanted you to ask more about the unsettling information they offered so they could provoke you and blame you for reacting. This stems from their sadistic need for power and control, and thirst for manufacturing chaos.

Nelosessa myös:

They coerce you into self-harm, reckless activity or substance use. According to Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist, psychopathic individuals tend to get bored easily and require constant stimulation. They engage in high-risk activities themselves to gain that stimulation and have no problem encouraging others to do so for their own pleasure and entertainment. This means that testing how far they can “push” you into doing harmful activities is just another cat-and-mouse game for them, especially when you are most vulnerable. They want to know how far the pupeeteer can take the puppet, so to speak. This coercion can happen in a number of different ways. They may encourage you to self-sabotage just when you are making progress on a goal (e.g. encourage you to party before a big exam or interview). They could subtly push you toward self-harm for their own pleasure or show callous indifference during crises when you are already feeling over the edge – in extreme cases, pushing you to self-mutilate or even more sadistically, encourage suicide. They could “suggest” reckless pursuits that could harm yourself or others (e.g. speeding while driving for “fun” or vandalizing property).

The cycle of domestic violence with a narcissist or psychopath can also include a tactic known as “substance abuse coercion.” This is when narcissists and psychopaths encourage the use of drugs or drinking – not just to keep you under the influence, but also keep you under their influence and compliant to more of their abuse – whether it is verbal, psychological, physical or even sexual abuse. They may also deliberately undermine your treatment and recovery efforts, or use the substance use they encouraged against you to restrict your ability to gain employment, take control of your finances, challenge custody of your children or depict you as the abuser to law enforcement. This is a very insidious, dangerous tactic that can allow them to isolate, gaslight and discredit you more easily when you do identify the abuse, because they can claim that you cannot trust your own memory or perception of the abuse since you were “impaired” during abusive incidents.

Vitonen tuttu Katy Perry faneille:

They use hot-and-cold, push-pull methods to get you addicted to their attention, as they withhold affection after intense periods of love bombing. The hot-and-cold intermittent reinforcement of the abuse cycle creates a powerful trauma bond and addiction to the narcissist. This is why narcissists and psychopaths love to lure you in with their false charming mask and plenty of attention and praise, only to sweep the rug up from under you with callous indifference and devaluation that makes you doubt yourself. They may shower you with affection one day, only to give you the silent treatment the next. It gives them a sense of sadistic pleasure to know they have so much control your emotions and will work that much harder to regain their attention. Much like the never-ending chase of cat-and-mouse games, this cycle only continues as the relationship goes on. If you are experiencing the hot and cold tactics of the narcissist, it’s important to go cold altogether.

Kutonen ei yllättäne:

They abandon you during crises, losses, emergencies, and even during your success. Many stories abound of narcissistic and psychopathic individuals abandoning their loved ones in times of great need – whether during a health crisis, in the beginning of a pregnancy, during a loss, a miscarriage, in the middle of nowhere on vacation or a life-threatening illness. They may even abandon your when you are about to celebrate a life-changing achievement or milestone (such as an important anniversary or a graduation). This level of callousness and inhumanity traumatizes many survivors. Some narcissists and psychopaths take a special glee in abandoning you when you most need them, as these are times when they feel they are no longer the center of attention or can no longer milk you for resources and labor.

Seiska tuttua juttua:

7. They chronically provoke jealousy on purpose, only to frame your subsequent boundaries or questions as an invasion of their privacy and depict you as “controlling.” Narcissists and psychopaths are adept at deceiving their loved ones. Many lead double lives that may remain hidden for months, years or even decades. One of their favorite cat-and-mouse games to play is provoking jealousy and creating love triangles – only to blame you for questioning them or setting boundaries in response to their shady behavior. As noted in the previous example of Bryan and Rebecca, these manipulators enjoy portraying their partners as “controlling,” “jealous,” and “paranoid,” even though they usually demonstrate these qualities moreso than their partner and deliberately manufacture jealousy on purpose to control you.

Skipataan kasi mutta ysi tärkeä:

They provoke fear and make covert threats using “dog whistling”. Narcissists and psychopaths provoke fear regarding their retaliation should you ever dare to leave the relationship. Such a cat-and-mouse game enables them to hold dominion over you and your future choices. You not only fear leaving them, you are also entrapped by the fears they instill in you about the idea that you are not “good enough” to succeed, obtain healthy relationships, or flourish without them. This is because they have trained you over time to feel trauma bonded and attached to the relationship – and to them as a source of validation and approval. They can also employ a covert tactic known as “dog whistling” to humiliate, provoke, degrade, or threaten you in front of others or in private with “coded,” insidious, subtle references that only you understand and appear innocent to outsiders. This allows them to abuse you in public and behind closed doors without being held accountable, making you feel even more isolated, alienated and without support. If you do try to hold them accountable, they will react with faux outrage and convince others around them that they are innocent and you are overreacting.

Kymppiin törmännyt henk koht

They distort your self-perception by instilling insecurities that never existed. Before you met the narcissist or psychopath, you were likely far more confident, self-assured, goal-oriented and emotionally balanced. Now, you find yourself reactive, walking on eggshells, and feeling chronically off-kilter due to their devaluation. You question and doubt yourself often and find yourself battling insecurities you previously never even thought about, and mentally comparing yourself to people you never would dream of comparing yourself to previously and never knew existed prior to the relationship. That is because these cat-and-mouse games narcissists and psychopaths play are designed to make you lose your sense of self and cater to their whims, impulses and desires. These manipulators feed you a distorted version of yourself and your reality by making outrageous comparisons and subjecting you to cruel and callous comments. You start to see yourself through this distorted lens rather than the reality of how amazing and worthy you truly are. You become conditioned over time to think about what the narcissist or psychopath thinks, wants, feels – and forget about your own desires, emotions, values and boundaries, all of which they’ve gaslit you into believing are pathological and defective. By ruining your self-confidence, narcissists and psychopaths are able to diminish victims who are out of their league in many ways into staying in the abusive relationship.

Jos rakastat :)

https://youtu.be/Gi0Xc6S2OwE

Gubbe 74

Jos rakastat :)

https://youtu.be/Gi0Xc6S2OwE

Gubbe 74

Upp

Upp

Upp

Upp

Upp

Uppo

Jo on tähänkin provoon pädetty tyhjää puppua kuin jotain toispuoleista henkilöä neuvoen ylhäältä alas, tosi vastenmielistä

Yksin jää.

Tässä loppu:

Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they’ll often end the relationship and ‘discard’ the person. Sometimes, this ending is final. Other times, a narcissist will use hoovering to lure the person back into the relationship and repeat the cycle.

Ei voi

Uutta / vanhaa / sekalaista:

Did you know that some abusive people punish their partner for falling asleep, and then punish you for making mistakes when you are exhausted!
Sleep deprivation is a particularly sinister and deceptive abuse tactic because sleep is vital to our survival, just like food and water.
Here are some examples of how an abuser will keep their partner awake:
Baiting you closer to bedtime to get you worked up
Needing "help" with something, just as you are going to bed.
Loud crashing, banging, stomping or music
Looking for something they have “lost”
Turning lights on and off
Not allowing you to go to bed
Punishing you for sleeping
Starting circular arguments at a late hour
Waking you up in the middle of the night demanding sex
Prodding and poking you to stop you from sleeping, until you have agreed to their demands
Being deprived of sleep can have dangerous emotional and physical effects, including adrenal fatigue, depression and anxiety, feeling run down, being accident prone, forgetfulness, impaired judgement and even heart disease.
According to Healthline, long-term effects of sleep deprivation can include:
Trouble thinking and concentrating, including problem-solving
Memory issues, such an inability to remember new information
Weakened immune system that can result in you getting sick more often
An increased risk for high blood pressure
An increased risk for accidents
Weight gain—the chemicals that tell your brain you’re full are compromised, resulting in an inclination to overeat
Poor balance and coordination
Increased risk of heart disease
Sleep deprivation is also inflicted during the ‘love bombing’ phase. Their constant communication by text and calls starting, first thing in the morning, throughout the day, all evening and late into the night are designed to condition you into accepting this negative behavior.
Narcissists use sleep deprivation to control you, it’s all part of the manipulation, gaslighting and mind-games which are part of an abusive relationship.
When you are sleep deprived your brain pattern alters and you enter a “FOG” like state. Reasoning and clarity of thought is diminished. That is where they do their damage. It is a form of torture that is used to break and control you.
This is not you feeling crazy or out of control for no reason, they do this on purpose. Did you know that the U.S.S.R (the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics) which broke up in 1992 into Russia, had a torture technique that left no marks, it was called "The Conveyor". This technique disrupted a person’s sleep, and this disruption was kept up until they cracked. The longest anyone lasted was 31 days.

Kootut temput osa 523

Narcissists are known for their compulsive desire for attention and control. They often feel entitled to obtaining and maintaining power and the ability to influence others in all of their relationships, whether it be personal or private.

Power is a fickle concept as it doesn’t need to be intentionally or consciously surrendered; disturbingly, a narcissist can take control of others without explicit permission and simply through manipulation. The vast majority of those high in narcissism prefer exploitative relationships (Set, 2020). Exploitative relationships exist to serve the narcissist, fulfill their desires, and simply keep them (and them alone) happy. Some narcissists go to extreme lengths to establish or maintain relationships that are self-serving—even if that means lying about their health or survival.

Freestocks, no attribution required
Source: Freestocks, no attribution required
Deception is the name of the game for many narcissists. It is defined as the ability to lie successfully and effectively (Wright, Berry, Catmur, & Bird, 2015). Narcissists are often experts at deception. Not only can they create a scenario and narrative, but they can play the part perfectly from beginning to end.

How Narcissistic Deception Leads to "Health Scares"

Despite the immorality, health scares can fall into this category of deception. There are several categories of medical manipulation that are mental disorders—including factitious disorder (Bratskier, 2019). Factitious disorder is an umbrella term for more well-known situations such as Munchausen syndrome or Munchausen by proxy.

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Factitious disorders are generally born of the need for attention and sympathy. These people talk about their illness openly, go to appointments, and even start fundraisers for themselves. Unlike hypochondriacs, individuals with factitious disorders know they are not sick: they are just good liars who crave the spotlight.

Narcissists master the art of malingering. Fabricating an affliction or exaggerating a minor illness is used to seek attention, gain sympathy, or simply avoid responsibility (Bratskeir, 2019). While almost anyone has feigned a fever or stomachache to leave work early, most people would consider it morally repugnant to cash in on a serious illness such as cancer. “As a survivor of kidney cancer, and someone who is being closely watched because it has metastasized, I am personally offended by people who lie about being sick,” says Linda, 62.

the narcissist’s love bombing doesn’t work, the narcissist might then try to provoke feelings of guilt within you, to guilt trip you, so you feel remorseful, feeling like you need to up your games and be nicer to them, the covert narcissists might say “I knew you’d leave me like the rest.” or “I thought you of all people understood me.” To get you to explain yourself to them, and whatever you explain to them, they will take offence to and play the victim. To get what they want from you.

When guilt-tripping, the narcissist could suddenly really need you. They might need your support with something or need your advice about something. They just can’t do it without you, as you have empathy and object constancy, which means you care about them even when there is conflict, disagreements or distance. You naturally want to go help and support them, not realising they’re using your caring nature against you.

If needing your help doesn’t get your attention, the narcissist might have a sudden life crisis or emergency where the narcissist so desperately needs you. This naturally pulls on your desire to help others. When this happens, what you must remember is, if you were going through that emergency or crisis, would the narcissist genuinely be there for you? If they wouldn’t, unless they needed something from you, then you don’t need to go running to them. You can inform their friends and family that they need help and support, then leave them to it.

If the fake emergency doesn’t work, the narcissist might suddenly develop a terminal illness, as it’s challenging for genuine people to walk away from those with a terminal illness. However, with a narcissistic person, if you stick around, you’ll often find they didn’t even have the illness. They’re just playing on it to get you back into their games.

A narcissist might try the false promises of change. When someone promises to change and fails to do so, every time you give them another chance, they don’t change. They’re just going to change their lies to draw you back into their games, and once they’ve got you where they want you, the narcissist will change back into the person you were trying to get away from. Narcissists are more than capable of changing temporarily to a false persona to give you false hope of something that will never be.

If the false promises don’t work, they might offer a false apology, which is as insincere as the narcissist. “I’m sorry, you know what I’m like.” “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t.” “I’m sorry you misunderstood me.” As the narcissist shifts the blame over to you, as they’re unwilling to take responsibility for the things they do to you, the narcissist is just looking to get one over on you to exploit you by appearing sorry to deceive you. They’re not remorseful. Narcissists lack empathy.

The narcissist then might have some form of self-improvement. They might start working out, get that job they promised to get, start helping out, start doing all the things they said they’d do but failed to deliver on and blamed you as to why they didn’t deliver, yet as soon as you take them back, they quit the job, stop helping, and blame you, as the narcissist changes temporarily to give you that false hope, to deceive you, so they can get their needs met by you.

The narcissist could pretend to end it with you, when they say, “things aren’t working out. We should break you.” if you agree with them and they’ve not got a new supply source lined up, the narcissist will be offended that you agreed and play the victim with. “I thought you cared.” “you really want to end it over something so silly.” to blame, guilt, shame and play the victim with you. As the narcissist was hoping that by them ending it with you, you’d beg and plead for them to stay, apologise and make it up to them out of the fear they’re trying to provoke within you that you might lose them.

The narcissist could then seek to punish you, for daring to stand up to them, they could go all out to find a new source of supply, to feed the narcissist’s ego, that they weren’t the problem and to gain attention from someone new, once the narcissist has secured a new source off supply, they might go all out to provoke you, to bait you, to provoke that reaction from you, they might flaunt this new supply in front of you to punish you, or try to get a rise out of you, often

Narcissistic baiting refers to a tactic used by narcissistic individuals to “bait” or provoke an emotional reaction from others.

A narcissist will deliberately employ manipulative strategies to elicit emotional responses, typically negative ones, from their target in order to satisfy their narcissistic needs.

Narcissists crave attention and admiration, known as narcissistic supply. They use baiting to elicit emotional reactions and garner attention from their targets, providing the narcissist with the validation they seek.

Additionally, narcissists may use baiting to divert attention away from their own flaws, mistakes, or negative behaviors. Baiting can be used as a deflection tactic, shifting the focus onto the emotional reactions of others rather than addressing their own issues.

Witnessing the emotional turmoil or distress caused by their actions reinforces their belief in their own superiority and power over others. It feeds their inflated sense of self-worth and validates their need for control.

Heikko kohtani:

Awakening Your Curiosity

Humans are curious beings by nature. If someone tells us they have an alluring piece of information or heard an interesting rumor, we usually have a strong desire to know what it is.

A narcissistic individual might use this strategy to get your attention. They might say, “Give me a call, I have to tell you something” or “I heard juicy gossip about you.”

Naturally, you will want to know and feel tempted to take the bait. They might ask for something in return for the information or give vague responses until you beg for more details. They do this to create confusion, frustration, or insecurity in their target.



How to Respond

Not every bait is worth engaging with. Evaluate whether it’s necessary or beneficial to respond. Contemplate whether knowing this information is worth engaging with a manipulator.

As noted earlier, the best way to deal with a narcissist is to respond to them as little as possible. Ignoring their bait can help starve a narcissist of the attention they seek. Take a deep breath, pause, and control your curiosity to avoid giving them the satisfaction that they have control over you.

Jeb jeb

Emotional Triggering

Narcissists understand the power of emotions and use them to manipulate their victims. All of the examples of baiting discussed above are used by narcissistic individuals to provoke emotional reactions from others.



They learn your triggers and study your vulnerabilities, so when they feel they are losing control, they can exert their dominance and reinforce their self-importance.

Narcissists thrive on power struggles and emotional reactions, so if you argue, cry, or fight back, you are providing them with exactly what they want: attention and power.

If you want to take back control, you have to learn to control your emotional reactions. Establish clear boundaries and stay calm, assertive, and apathetic.

Tuttu juttu Shay


Hoovering is a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to maintain control and reestablish contact with a former intimate partner or victim. It often involves extravagant confessions of love, romantic gestures, fake remorse, and empty promises of change.

A narcissist will use baiting to keep their narcissistic supply in place. In the case of hoovering, their intention is not just to provoke you, but also to have you back in their life.

Narcissists use hoovering to exert power and garner an emotional reaction in their victims. They may express remorse, apologize profusely, promise change, and show excessive affection. They may seem so genuine that you want to believe every word.

Your feelings of love might come rushing back, and you may wonder whether you can give them another chance.

Hoovering can be very difficult to resist because the narcissist may distort the reality of the past relationship or use guilt to make you feel responsible for the relationship’s failure.

How to Respond

You might still have feelings for your ex-partner and find it difficult to let go. In order to maintain clarity and not fall back into their manipulative web, you must recognize their intentions and tactics.

Reaffirm and maintain the boundaries you have set. Remember why you established those boundaries in the first place and the negative impact the narcissistic relationship had on your well-being.

Resist the temptation to give in as the abuse will only resume once they have you back under their control. You will end up back in a situation that you fought so hard to leave. Do not engage, avoid contact, and remind yourself that you do not owe them anything.

Upp

En tiedä

Ei kannata uskoa, jos sivulliset väittävät jotakuta miestä narsistiksi. Etenkin, jos ne sanojat ovat myös miehiä. Niillä sanojilla voi olla oma lehmä ojassa ja taka-ajatuksia sun suhteen, ja sen takia ne mustamaalaavat sitä miestä, kun tietävät sun olevan kiinnostunut hänestä. Älä luota sivullisten panetteleviin sanoihin, vaan arvioi itse sitä, miten se mies on sua kohtaan käyttäytynyt. Oikeasti narsisteja lienee jotain 1 - 2 % ihmisistä. Jos kuuntelee nettikommentoijia, niin heitä on kuitenkin about puolet kansasta. Ainakin kaikkien eksät ovat narsisteja. Jea, right.

When determining whether someone is a narcissist, most people make it more complicated than it needs to be.
I use the duck test—that is, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck.

Signs you're dealing with a narcissist
Narcissists have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.
Narcissists constantly need attention—even just by following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention. And validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others.
Narcissists need everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.
Narcissists want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control of everything.
Narcissists never want to be responsible unless everything goes their way. They often place all the blame and responsibility on someone else to maintain their own façade of perfection.
Narcissists lack boundaries. They believe that everything belongs to them and everyone thinks and feels the same as they do.
Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others and often lack an understanding of the nature of feelings.
Narcissists perceive everything as a threat. They frequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative.
Narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs.
A narcissist's personality is split into good and bad parts. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good.
Narcissists are constantly afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, or wrong and often struggle to trust other people.
Narcissists typically deal with anxiety, and typically project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative or unsupportive.
Narcissists don't feel much guilt because they think they are always right, and they harbor a lot of shame and often bury their insecurities, fears, and rejected traits that they are constantly on guard to hide from everyone, including themselves.
Narcissists can't truly love or connect emotionally with other people because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and their constant need for self-protection.
Narcissists don't have the capacity or the motivation to communicate or work as part of a team.

Narcissists are really good at disappearing. Not all of them do, mind you, but some have it down to an art form. Many people that find sites like mine are suffering, because they find themselves in love with someone, who keeps popping in and out of their lives and they don’t understand why. Many will blame themselves and think that it was something they did or didn’t do.

Some disappear because they’re living a double life. They may have a wife, or a husband waiting for them at home, or in another city, or perhaps even a steady partner. Some play Houdini, because they fear intimacy. They feel you getting too close and they cannot have you discover their true selves. Some buckle under the weight of the relationship expectations they imagine you might have, while others always have their focus on something exciting and new.

Regardless of their reasons, if your mate keeps coming and going from your life, chances are they’ve got their own play book. They’ve done this dance so many times that the process doesn’t even faze them. They don’t feel guilt at what you must be going through. They don’t feel responsible for whatever circumstance they left you in. Their focus is always on what they need and what they are feeling. They must always answer the monster within and this monster is capable of abominable behavior.

The most baffling part of a disappearing act is the reappearing act. Emotional manipulators have this incredible ability to magically reappear, after everything they’ve done, and act as if nothing happened. I can only imagine that this feeling is genuine for them, since they don’t harbor any guilt or responsibility for what they’ve done to you.

I can recall, after a particular disappearing episode, by my boomerang Narcissist, that lasted two weeks, I got a text message and my response was angry and accusatory. He was acting as if he had nothing to be sorry for and told me, under no uncertain circumstances, that he wasn’t interested in fighting and that that’s not why he contacted me. I was then punished by another week of no contact for my defiance.

This is a clear example of Operant Conditioning. Narcissist train a conditioned response into their victims through reward or punishment. They lower your defenses by inflicting punishment (leaving), which causes you immense pain and suffering, they will eventually reward you by returning (as if this is a reward) and if you accept them back with no fuss no muss, you get to win them back again, until they of course decide to leave again. If however you decide to get upset and cuss them out for hurting you, you will be punished, they will leave again until you learn not to upset them with your feelings.

After repeated disappearing episodes, their victims become conditioned machines, acting just the way they Narcissist wants. It reminds me of an experiment I remember reading about in University, where they would put a dog in a cage that had electrical current running through one half. When the shock was turned on, the dog would jump and cry and look for a safe place to stand (I know its awful). So they were conditioning the dog to stop responding to the current and just move to the half of the cage where there was no current. Then the researchers wired the cage so that the current would run through the entire cage and the dog would have nowhere safe to stand. The dog would, at first, cry and move around, looking for somewhere safe, but after repeated exposure and knowing there was no where safe to go, it became accustomed to the shocks and stopped responding completely, whenever the shock was turned on. This is called learned helplessness.

Famous Narcissists

Throughout history, there have been a number of movie stars, singers, politicians, leaders and other celebrities and public figures that have displayed a number of narcissistic traits.

In today’s climate of social media, people who crave the spotlight can be easy to see and love – charisma can be charming. The instant gratification for a narcissist to reply to a post, or to re-tweet to thousands of people is immense. For historical figures, often they have been analyzed after their death on how their narcissistic tendencies contributed to their life and whether or not they had a narcissistic personality disorder.

Eight famous narcissists, or people who have displayed narcissistic traits, include:

Joan Crawford



Image Source: Filminquiry.com

Actress Joan Crawford’s narcissistic abuse of her adopted daughter was dramatized in the movie “Mommie Dearest,” based on the book written by her daughter. Mother-daughter relationships are often difficult, however, Crawford’s need for attention as a narcissistic mother was said to be at the expense of her family relationships and providing her children a healthy upbringing. Crawford’s daughter’s account shows the difficulty of narcissist abuse recovery for those who have lived with someone who may have this mental health condition or disorder.

Kanye West



Image Source: Billboard.com

Rap singer Kanye West has displayed narcissistic traits on many occasions. Stepping up the microphone during an acceptance speech for a music award given to Taylor Swift, he proclaimed another artist should have been the winner, humiliating Swift publicly, making himself the center of attention. He’s also stated publicly that he’s up for running for the US Presidency in the 2020 elections. As part of the extended family of the reality TV Kardashian clan, he seems to also have a narcissistic mother-in-law in Kris Jenner and a few other female narcissists in his life, including his wife.

Kim Kardashian



Image Source: Instagram.com/kimkardashian

Sure, we live in a world of social media, selfies, and reality TV shows, but Kanye West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, is a queen of narcissistic type self-promotion. Her claim to fame is pretty much being “herself” – an image she perpetuates through self-posting online updates of daily activities on platforms such as Twitter and Instagram. Another narcissistic characteristic, if true, is she is rumored to have released controversial material, including a sex-tape, herself to make her name more famous.

Mariah Carey



Image Source: Nme.com

Singer Mariah Carey is said to be one of the most overbearing and narcissistic celebrities of her generation. Narcissistic traits displayed by Carey including treating others as though they are beneath her and/or she owns them. She is the boss. Carey is known for disrespecting other people’s time, turning up late or not performing at all with no apology – as happened when an unexpected backup track was played at a New Year’s Eve in Times Square a year or two back. The narcissistic behavior on that occasion and her subsequent excuse put herself across as a victim rather than making it right for those who were there to see her perform.

Madonna



Image Source: Nme.com

Singer Madonna has never been one to shun the limelight and find ways to reinvent her image to attract and retain attention on herself. She’s said to be unreasonable with her demands of her employees, with little empathy for long hours and working conditions of people she hires. In 2006, it was reported she lobbied governments and scientists to treat nuclear waste with magical Kabbalah fluid.

Donald Trump



Image Source: CBSNews.com

Donald Trump has long displayed many narcissistic traits as a narcissistic CEO of a large corporation, well before becoming President of the United States. A prime example of narcissism, Trump’s need for self-promotion seems to overshadow any policy talk. His derisiveness of political rivals, other people in general, and talk of conspiracies outstrips dirty politics. Trump often shows an extreme sensitivity to criticism and disregard for other people with his public outbursts and comments on Twitter. From the wording of these, they are possibly the result of narcissistic rage and a feeling of not being able to control everything.

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Hesarissa tänään artikkeli näistä netin populaarihömpistä. Hannu Lauerman mukaan osuvampi määritelmä niille joilla n piirteitä oikeastaan k&sipää. Pystyvät muuttumaan, eivät vain halua kun ei ole pakko.

Ajattelen että eräänlaista vallankäyttöä paeta joidenkin todellisten tai kuvitteellisen persoonallisuuspiirteidensä taakse.

Muuttuu jos mietit asioita ja rupeat käyttäytymään toisin

Se on susta ihan itsestä kiinni miten toista kohtelet ja käyttäydyt

Nämä juutuub hommat perustuu siihen että joku yrittää monetisoida. Osa noista varmaan onnistuu

Ei muutu! Paras ja tunnetuin narsisti, jolle on vaikea löytää vertaista, on tietenkin Donald Trump. Ei kannata tuijottaa sitä ihmismäärää, joka parveilee hänen ympärillään, sillä heillä kaikilla on jotain tavoiteltavaa ja voitettavaa hyötymismielessä.

Ei, täysi mahdottomuus, koska vaikka olisit kuinka rakastava ihminen, ja yrittäisit rakastaa, narsku syö sinun evääsi (rakkauden, rakastamisen taidon, ja olet nopeasti pelkkä sisältä tyhjiin kuohittu entinen elävä ja rakastava ihminen).

Thats it!

Ehkä sun kannattaa yrittää aina rakastaa vaan enemmän🤣 loppua ei tule jos haet empatiaa tai vastarakkautta. Se ei pysty siihen. Kohta huomaat olevas vanha ja kuollut sisältä rakkaudettomassa alisteisessa suhteessa.

Uskon, et näiden kohdalla kulissi pidetään pystyssä. Narsisti pelaa aina. Toki haluan uskoa, että hyvä diili motivoi pistäytymään yhteisissä pelisäännöistä paremmin. Läsnä olevaa ja syvemmin tuntevaa harvemmin niistä löytää, jollei tapahdu jotain todella poikkeuksellista? Narsisteilla on salaisuuksia normia enemmän.

En usko yksin jäämiseen? Haluavat olla huomion keskipisteenä aina (haluavat tuntea olevansa muita parempia ihmisinä, keskipisteenä oleminen ruokkii näitä tarpeita hänessä) ja ostavat vaikka tyykkääjät pitämään seuraa itselleen. Yleensä ajatusmalli on pieni hyöty toiselle, suurempi henkinen/ rahallinen hyöty itselle?

Ja vanhemmiten voivat ymmärtää (tuntea) itsensä tärkeäksi toiselle, kun sydän lämpenee auttamaan huonommassa asemassa olevia. Ja toisen tuntevan ihmisen kiitokset voivat lämmittää narsistin mieltä? Kun kokevat auttajan teon merkitykselliseksi heille.

Hyväntekijä, poikkeuksellinen narsisti? Siten uskon heihin myös joidenkin pystyvän rakastumaan. Kaipaako hän silloin jotain vastavuoroisuutta? Yleensä haluavat aina hyötyä kaikessa. Hyväntekijänä oleminenkin voi olla vain oman kilven kirkastamista (peliä). Läheinen narsisti voi olla hyödyllinenkin ihmisenä (sukulainen/ parisuhde).

Narsistille on tärkeää kokea olevansa merkityksellinen ja siten arvostettu ihminen muiden silmissä (muita parempi, hänelle harvemmin riittää samanarvoisuus/ tasa-arvo). Hän aistii muiden tuntemuksia, narsisti ei viihdy tilanteissa, joissa ei saa haluamaansa huomiota olla keskipisteenä tai tärkeä. Luottamus?

Onko narsisti luotettava koskaan? Harvemmin on. Oma hyöty on aina päällimmäisenä mielessä. Olet aina ystävä tai vihollinen, ystävän oltava lojaali hänelle, muuten on vaarana joutua viholliseksi. Ystävä on aina hyödyn väline, jollain tapaa. Osaavat manipuloida ja tarvittaessa provosoida valheilla. Ovat hänelle työkaluja. Nämä omia olettamuksia, jotka perustuvat myös omiin kokemuksiin.

Tämän päivän Yle.fi sivustolla hyvä kuvaus narssisesta ihmisestä. Monitahoinen asia. Liian usein leimataan ymmärtämättä asian todellista laitaa.

8) ‘You’re a bad person’

Changing the narrative is also something these leeches excel at! Now, their huge egos and lack of empathy mean that they are incapable of acknowledging the damage they cause, plus they get a kick out of making those they prey on feel bad. There’s no doubt about it, they love toying with our emotions and distorting the truth.

9) ‘You’d be nothing without me’

This is something an experienced narcissist will say when they feel that their victim is slipping out of their grasp. In order to remain in the driving seat, they won’t hesitate to make scary claims about you being too weak to face the world without them.

10) ‘No one would ever believe you’

Sowing seeds of doubt is an essential part of the manipulation process, and ultimately leads to the shattering of any confidence that victims have left.

What happens when you stop texting a narcissist?

Cutting all communication with them is a sign of you taking control of the situation, and will therefore anger a narcissist. If you stop texting them, their ego will take a brutal hit, and will make them even more determined to win you back by any means possible. Now, normal people would just give up and get the message (sorry for the pun) when you stop replying, however, these devious bullies will bombard you with even more attempts to communicate, meaning you should expect hundreds of calls from them. In their eyes, you are their plaything, and they'll be the one to end things, not you.

Do narcissists ever text first?

Narcissistic people may take the initiative to text victims, but this depends on a number of factors, such as their specific personality, preferred communication style, and the context of the relationship. Here are some possible scenarios:

Manipulative initiation: Narcissists are often experts at manipulating and controlling others. They may therefore initiate contact via text in order to maintain their hold on the victim. This may be to ask for something, to re-establish their power, or to play on the victim's emotions.

Need for attention: They have a constant need for attention and admiration. They may therefore send messages to attract their victims' attention and obtain a response. They may seek to provoke interaction or obtain praise or compliments.

Power play: They can also use text messages as a means of control and domination. They may intentionally ignore the victim's messages, and respond late or ambiguously, in order to create uncertainty and anxiety in the victim.

Maintaining a hold: They may keep in touch with their victims to maintain a hold on them. They may alternate between kind messages and abusive behavior to confuse and keep the victim under their influence.
Why do narcissists ignore texts?

A narcissist may ignore our text messages for many reasons, all linked to their constant need to feel superior and admired. Ignoring our messages may be a control tactic to maintain their power over others and reinforce their fragile self-esteem. By ignoring us, they may seek to elicit a reaction of insecurity or need for approval on our part, thus placing them at the center of attention. Moreover, ignoring us may be a way for them to protect themselves from potential rejection or abandonment. By shutting themselves off emotionally, they avoid facing up to their own vulnerabilities and revealing their true dependence on others. Ignorance can also be a manifestation of their genuine disinterest in others, as their main preoccupation is often focused on themselves and their own gratification.

Editor’s opinion - How to respond to a narcissist's text - Silence is the best response

When you suddenly realize that the person you are talking to is a raging manipulator, the best thing to do is to sever all ties with them. If any of the above examples ring a bell for you, then you should instantly block the person’s number and completely cut communication with them. This degree of manipulation is terrifying and will only bring you pain in the long run. Although narcissists have weaknesses, they can never really be disarmed and certainly aren’t willing to change, even if it is to preserve your mental health.

Tärkeä:

Their communication patterns are unclear: they like to keep an element of ambiguity in everything they say to you in order to deliberately confuse you. For example, they will purposely change the conversation and focus on things other than what you are saying to distract you, or they will spontaneously leave the conversation on the pretext of an emergency.

Tärkeä

Maintaining a hold: They may keep in touch with their victims to maintain a hold on them. They may alternate between kind messages and abusive behavior to confuse and keep the victim under their influence.
Why do narcissists ignore texts?

Do narcissists ever make fake social media profiles with fake pics, etc., or use fake text app phone numbers to talk to and keep track of exes?
yes ,its called an orbiting tactic or hoovering which involves keeping a close eye on you , to make sure you are still under their control , and that you don’t stray too far . They will use bread crumbing tactics to keep you just enough satisfied without putting too much effort on their part so that you still feel you have an actual chance with them, or to keep you under control as i mentioned before so your still on their radar. They do this as it gives them a kick to know what your up to , and as a means to find out information you would not necessarily tell a narcissist by pretending to be a stranger or someone else. This person is controlling and it will only get worse if you let them in your life. Narcissists grow fonder over distance than when you are with them . He likes to know what your up to, so that he can see how good you life is , as to see if he wants to be a part of you life and add you as an EXTENSION to himself that makes him look better to others, and say what an amazing girlfriend i have . when in reality Hes using you . Don’t waste your time, hes probably stalking more than one girl , or will be if he has you under his control . Best to leave and save your time and the hurt and physiological damage that will entail in the relationship. Best of luck

Do narcissists make fake Facebook profiles and pretend to be someone else to get info on you?
The narcissist I dated sure did. In fact he had so many fake profiles there was no way in the world I could have kept track of all of them. It wasn’t just me he wanted to check up on. He was constantly checking up on all of his ex girlfriends & wives. After we broke up I found out that he was checking up on me through a few fake profiles and at one point he started sending some fairly hateful messages through a fake messenger profile. I received one where he claimed to be a guy I had gone out with in high school and how he remembered taking me out years ago. He went on to tell me my profile picture on FB looked cheap and that I must be “quite the slut” these days.That was actually the mildest part of the message. It was cruel and disgusting to say the least. I had never dealt with anyone so mean and conniving so I didn’t catch on that it was him right away. In fact I was so hurt and so upset that someone would do something so mean, I actually reached out to him!!!!!! I was not very smart, huh ? I called him crying and explained what happened. I decided I wanted to delete FB and messenger & as I was telling him, he busted out laughing. “Oh my God, it was a joke! I had no idea you’d get this bent of of shape. You are such a drama queen. So sensitive. Can you see why I couldn’t stay with you?! Damn, get it together.” I couldn’t believe it was him that had done that. I hung up the phone, feeling humiliated. This was someone that had claimed to love me, to care about me . This was someone that talked about wanting to keep me safe always and protect me from anyone that would cause me pain. He had said all of that yet he was the person who had just created a lot of confusion and hurt for me?

For a long time I tried to keep up with any requests I thought might be him and I was paranoid. Eventually I just thought I don’t really care……. I am not doing anything that I care about anyone knowing and he will eventually get bored . If I continue to worry and stress over him then he’s getting exactly what he wants. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction another minute.

Obviously the entire time we were together, he had fake profiles so he could check up on the ex’s he had hurt prior to me. Pathetic…….. I’m sure he’s still doing the same thing now even though it’s been years since we were a couple. It’s part of who he is and what he does. I’m happy to not be a part of his life anymore.

What Role Does Mirroring Play In The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle?

The narcissistic abuse cycle consists of three phases: idealization (love bombing), devaluation, and discard.

Mirroring usually starts in the idealization phase as a narcissist attempts to draw you in. Once the narcissist feels they have gained enough emotional dependence from you, they will use mirroring to control and maintain their dominance.

When you first meet a narcissist, you might believe you have met your “soul mate” – they seem to understand you deeply, share the same interests and quirks, and see you for who you truly are. When you talk, they seem fascinated, asking questions to try to get to know you better.

Once this phase is over, the devaluation phase creeps in. Now, the narcissist uses what they have learned against you. The mirroring behavior diminishes, and the narcissist’s true, manipulative self emerges.



For example, they may know you are concerned about your weight, so they will comment that “you look bigger.” They will criticize, undermine, and emotionally abuse you, creating a sense of confusion and self-doubt.

Unfortunately, we often believe everything they say to be true.

According to self-verification theory, even when the beliefs we have about ourselves are negative, we subconsciously want others to confirm those beliefs.

In this way, we can become stuck with the narcissist despite their abusive behavior because we still feel like they “get us.”

Dealing With Narcissistic Mirroring

The best way to deal with narcissistic mirroring is educate yourself so you can identify their behavior early. Understanding narcissism and the tactics narcissists use can help you recognize when they are occurring.



Some common signs of narcissistic mirroring include:

Love bombing
Intense pressure to share private information
Lack of respect for your boundaries
Copying or mimicking your behavior, interests, and attitudes
If you feel that someone is mirroring you excessively or behaving inauthentically, trust your instincts. Depending on the severity of the situation, you might need to limit your contact or disengage with the individual altogether. If this is not possible, you should establish clear boundaries.

If you do not disengage early on, you might get sucked into an abusive relationship.

And if you are already in a relationship with a narcissist, be cautious about sharing sensitive or personal information with them as they may use this information against you or to manipulate you later on.



A person who truly loves and cares about you does not use your vulnerabilities against you. Mirroring behavior is not genuine empathy or connection.

It is also important that you prioritize your emotional well-being and work on building your self-confidence so that the beliefs you hold about yourself are robustly positive rather than distorted.

True confidence means that the words and actions of others will not make you question your own self-worth. Reaching out to friends, family, or a therapist for support and validation can also be beneficial.

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Upp