Tymppiksen poika ja maailmanloppu

Just...joo....
Aikamoinen tarinanvääntäjä olet.... :D

What a great story! Here’s a modest translation for our international admirers. Feel free to correct possible mistakes or amend the style. Our friends abroad deserve an equal right with our Finnish worshippers to enjoy this great piece of art!

Of course, no translation is ever capable to fully reproduce the unique style of a masterpiece with all its fine intricacies and subtleties, and no translator, no matter how well versed in both the source language and the target language, will ever do justice to the grandeur of the original.

Sometimes doubts indeed haunt me. What if our fight for a better world – a world with beauty and artistic mastery for all nations and languages – is for vain? What if our best efforts, in the end, produce nothing but a tantalising taste, just a small sip, and leave the thirsty crowds forever yearning for more, yearning for fulfilment? Alas, this haunting thought keeps me up at nights!

Bur we shall not give in to these doubts! We shall stand firm, and we shall fight with our heads held high! So here, my dear fellow men, a translation of a masterpiece!


The Son of Tymppis and the End of the World

Pömppis, the son of Tymppis, grew rapidly. When he was just eight months of age, he gave up suckling and moved on to solid nourishment, that is, bloody carcasses that Esko, a faithful friend and helper of Tymppis, dragged into his dungeon. Pömppis was insatiable. He could easily ingurgitate three corpses a day, which of course voluminously laboured Esko, who now had to murder people for both Tymppis and the son. Nevertheless, Esko was filled with joy and happines, for he loved Tymppis dearly, and of course he loved also the son whose name was Pömppis. The name, by the way, was given by Esko. They all had suffered hard times with the name until Esko had come up with an idea.

The stomach of Pömppis was exceptionally stretchy. He could take in quite a lot of torn corpses. Unlike Tymppis who loved bone marrow more than anything else and always enjoyed it as a dessert, Pömppis’ favourite dish was brain. He loved the softness of brain tissue. In Pömppis’ opinion, its texture had a nice mouthfeel. Of course the taste was also good, and Pömppis used to season his food with blood and gall. This was his speciality. For most people it was too strong but Pömppis loved it.

When Pömppis reached the age of five, Tymppis began to guide his son and told him some basic facts. For instance, he told that Monsanto is a global crime organisaton and that Barack Obama is a malicious traitor. Tymppis also told that the Illuminati governs the world and that they worship Lucifer. Pömppis was educated in various issues for the next five years, and if he learned rapidly, he was rewarded with a special portion of seasoned brain stuff. Pömppis ladled pieces of brain straight from the skull and enjoyed every last bit of them with great pleasure. He was always smiling.

But the peaceful days couldn’t go on forever. The appetite of Pömppis was growing day by day. He ate already ten corpses a day. Esko couldn’t deliver enough corpses and so Pömppis escaped his basement dungeon and went on to manhunt by himself. The whole family with their extraordinary customs was almost betrayed to the public, but luckily Tymppis managed to catch his son in time. Tymppis was not only strong as a bull but also a sharp-minded thinker, and so it soon dawned on him that Pömppis could be fed with ordinary trash and even with excrement. Of course Pömppis didn’t want to eat trash or excrement. The only option left was to force-feed him. Imagine yourself force-feeding your child, your own blood and flesh, with trash and shit. Unthinkable!

A sight of Pömppis romping in his dungeon in the middle of trash heaps broke the heart of Irma, Pömppis’ mother. It was the mother’s worst nightmare, and Irma yearned to grab Pömppis into her arms and thurst a tittie into his mouth. But of course this was impossible, for Pömppis weighed 150 kilograms and was weaned from suckling ages ago. Irma was crying and Pömppis made an awful clamor when he crammed trash and excrement into his huge mouth.

Eventually there was no trash left in the world because Pömppis had eaten it all. The story of Pömppis was made known by the man named Raimo who found Pömppis on a trip to Helsinki at Pohjois-Esplanadi. Raimo was a rustic and he took Pömppis, who had appeared from the ground, with him to Tuusula. It was not a good idea to keep Pömppis as a pet. Raimo went through a divorce and a personal bankrupt. Finally Pömppis ate all the trash in the world and then all the people. But whence I then write this story? I sit here in my dark apartment. The door is locked but I know that it will not hold Pömppis for very long. I can already hear the heavy breathing from the stairway. Farewell, my friends! My next (and last) stop is in Pömppis’ stomach.

Kiitoksia paljon Viikselle käännöksestä. Olen ylpeä siitä, että nyt myös ulkomaiden asukkaatkin voivat nauttia mestariteoksestani.

Upeaa, aivan mahtavaa lukea tällaista pitkää kertomusta.
Kyllä muut kalpenee tämän rinnalla.Jesss!!!!

Ihmettelen mitä tämä kuvotus tekee rakkausruno palstalla???