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News Release
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18.05.06
INAUGURAL EUROVISION ‘AIRLINES’ CONTEST
RYANAIR ANNOUNCES RESULTS
10,000 FREE* SEATS FOR COUNTRY THAT WINS THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

Ryanair today (Thursday, 18th May 2006) welcomed the start of the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest in Athens by announcing the results of the inaugural Eurovision Airlines Contest.

Like its musical counterpart, the ‘Eurovision Airlines Contest’ was dogged by allegations of blocking tactics, scant regard for the application of rules and dirty tricks. Here is a summary of what happened.

Greece Hopes were high for the host nation’s entry called ‘Olympic,’ but it was swiftly dispatched with a curt “nul points” after it refused to pay the organisers €540M it has owed them since 2005. Predictably, Greece blamed Turkey, Olympic has continued unhindered and nothing further has been done about it.

Germany The Germans chose a group called ‘Air Berlin’ for its entry Take My Shares Away. In spite of being hotly tipped by Johnny Logan and David Hasselhoff, no-one bought it.

France The French entry “Non” by Air France refused to address the
judging panel in English and was strongly supported by the French Government. The French Authorities provided “Non” with exclusive rights to all of the prime time television slots and 50% reductions in domestic advertising rates. Despite this, domestic sales were disappointing with high prices to blame.

Italy Italy’s entry was run by “independent” observers from the Bank of Italy. The Italian authorities said the selection would be perfectly fair and open to everybody with a green and red livery and a name that started with A and ended with A. Alitalia was selected but the resulting entry was so poor it went bankrupt. However, an incredible smoke and mirrors stage act meant Alitalia will survive to fly another day.

UK The British entry, BA was criticised by the panel as “all fur coat and no knickers” after it used elaborate costuming to mask flawed vocals and hidden extras. BA baffled its listeners by claiming that a £35 add on charge to hear the song was due to the current high cost of make up and accessories.

Ireland Ireland’s entry, “Never mind the b***ocks, Here is Ryanair” and its back to basics approach gave the public exactly what they wanted. The act hit all the high notes and was victorious despite having a single instrument type and only one line to its song, “We are the cheapest”. Upon winning, Ryanair was told that next year’s event will be hosted in a marquee erected on the roof of Dublin airport’s multi story car park.

Editor’s Note: All of the characters/events in this release (with the exception of the 10,000 free seat offer) are fictional and any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental

*Taxes and charges excluded. Offer valid only if winning country currently has airports in the Ryanair route
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