Voko joku lukea minun tarina?

I really liked the name "all the glitter is not gold." It was very describing,And the story sounded interesting,but also its like i have heard stories like that so many times before. But speaking of your text,souds like you have great gift of writing! keep it up!

Okay, I don't know if you can read Finnish well enough, so here are some comments in English. I'm not an expert in English language, so I might be wrong about some things. Take my advices with a grain of salt.

First of all, I don't know if you are a native English speaker but I take it that you aren't because you sent this text here.

Your use of language is okay but somewhat cliched, which is very typical for a non-native writer.
For example ""shaking like leaves in the wind"" is a very tired, over used expression that you shouldn't use. Also, when do hand REALLY shake like "leaves in the wind"? That's right, never, it's a "purple prose" type of description that is cliched and has nothing to do with realism. You said you disliked Twilight and that's a good sign, that book uses lots and lots of purple prose...:)

You have some issues with articles (a, the):

"It hurted like a hell again" = no need for the article "a"

"Why did you escaped?" = should be "escape", not "escapeD"

"He said and he made me feel even more stupider than I already was" = because you already used the word "more" there's no need for "stupidER" - it should just be "more stupid".
Also, this phrase makes it sound like your character thinks she IS STUPID, instead for FEELING STUPID. That might be intentional, but be careful there, because this makes the phrase much more powerful and implies that your character is loathing herself. If she only "feels stupid" it's not as dramatic.

And some words misspelled:

"Discusting" = Disgusting
"plant to go back" = plan to go back
"grate" = great

Try using automatic spell checker on Word or whatever software you use when writing.


As for the actual story, I liked it that the mother was too in love with her man to believe what Amelia told her. And that Amelia at least realized that leaving with an older man she didn't know was a risk.
Romance isn't really my thing, but I could imagine that a lot of young girls would enjoy this kind of story.
What I would had liked to see more is Amelia's feelings and the mental side of being abused and in a way abandoned by her own mother. What she did, running away like that with out money or place to go, it's a pretty crazy thing to do and it takes some sort of an emotional break down, kind of hitting the bottom when all that matters is getting away.

If you plan to continue this story here are few tips:
1. Use the spell checker, it's a HUGE help!
2. Use a beta-reader. That means a person who will read your text before publishing and offer critique and help with mistakes. Quizilla has forums and think you could find a beta here: http://forums.quizilla.teennick.com/forumdisplay.php?f=4
3. Remember realism. Abuse is a serious issue and it's best to treat it with some seriousness. Don't make Amelie suddenly just forget her past. Physical scars fade away but emotional scars take longer to heal. Love helps, but it's not a miracle cure.

Good luck with your project!