'Skinny doesn't mean happy'

'Skinny doesn't mean happy': Fashion editor reveals how she overcame her 'addiction' to losing weight, as she admits she's far more content with her larger size

An editor for a Los Angeles-based fashion website has opened up about going from a super skinny size two to a ‘healthy’ size ten, in a new article about body acceptance.

Being obsessed about having the perfect body is not exclusive to those working in fashion, but it is an industry that encourages it, and Meghan Blalock, Managing Editor of popular style website Who What Wear, is the first to admit that things can get carried away.

In a new article published on her website, the 29-year-old editor reveals what her changing sizes taught her about being comfortable in her own skin and how being thinner did not equal being happier - though she admits that this is only something she has recently started coming to terms with.

'I was teased for being fat starting around seven or eight years old,' she writes. 'Of course, I was far from actually being fat, but I think the cruelty of my peers ended up having a long-term impact that I am just overcoming.'

In her confessional, Meghan describes being every different size from a two to a ten, explaining that her smallest form was achieved after losing 25 pounds as a teenager when she 'made it my mission to show up to my freshman year looking fitter and better than ever'. She met that goal by going on a restriction diet and 'exercising like crazy all summer'.

Stepping into the school on the first day back to a windfall of compliments, Meghan admits that she felt 'amazing', but also reveals that the 'high' she gained from being thin led her down a path to 'an actual addiction'.

'Eventually, I ended up somewhere around 110 pounds, and I stopped menstruating,' she writes.

'My “rock bottom,” as they say, came when, at 15 years old, I found myself in my parents' bathroom, sobbing because I had overshot my calorie limit for the day, and was pondering vomiting it all up.'

That turning point put Meghan on the journey to accepting her body. And while it was a long time before she truly achieved that state, she now confesses that she knows the times in her life when she was at her skinniest, were also the periods when she was the most unhappy.

'The times when I have been thin, when I looked really, really great in every single photo, are the times when I have been the most miserable on the inside,' she says.

While Meghan claims to believe not all size two women are miserable, she adds that it is 'simply not my natural state', and usually stemmed from issues like stress and eating disorders.

Today, Meghan says she is a healthy size eight, regularly does yoga and tries to 'feel nothing but positive feelings' when looking in the mirror. She admits that it's a battle to truly feel that way, but she rounds up her article on the advice that she has learned: 'It simply does not matter what size you are.

'What matters is your internal state—your happiness, contentment, and joy—and that your body is healthy,' she says.

'Obviously, this is much easier said than done, but take it from a woman who has seen some success at trying not to care: It’s possible, and what you experience on the other side is a whole new level of freedom.'
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