Vernon Tylypahkassa

Tämä kuuluisi oikeastaan tuonne faninovellit-osioon, mutta laitan sen kuitenkin tänne. Täällä joku saattaa vaikka huomatakin sen.

Eli, täältä löytyy kerta kaikkisen upea HP-ficci:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1930193/1/

Tässä muutamia pätkiä niille, jotka eivät usko:

"“How silly of me- I’d nearly forgotten,” he said out loud to the empty room. “A wizard’s not much good without his wand, is he?,” Vernon thrust out his hand and screamed “Accio Gustav II Adolf!” Thousands of miles away, his wand, named for the Swedish dictator-king who donated smallpox-infected blankets that cruelly spread disease amongst the peace-loving Hapsburg tribe during the Thirty-years war, quivered and shook where it lay on the ocean floor and sped towards its master. Faster and faster its speed became after it rose above the waves. Speeding overland, it pierced anything and anyone in the way to its master- concrete and steel, flesh and bone. At last, Gustav II Adolf smashed through the Dursley house wall and into the waiting hand of its master. A split second later a there was a sonic boom as the sound at last caught up to the speeding stick."


"“Erm…,” Harry began, “is everything all right in here?”

“Just fine,” Vernon replied courteously. “Me, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle were just having a discussion over the whole Iraq affair and things got a bit heated when Goyle called Blair a war criminal. Isn’t that right, Draco?” He nudged Draco’s prone form with his solid-gold buckled shoe.

“Merp!” a semi-conscious Draco squeaked."


"That day after classes had finished, Vernon procured the Sky Streaker and a rather large burlap sack- two things he would need to begin his planned two-pronged assault against Snape. Mounting the broom, he sped away towards the south and before long was flying over his destination- Snape’s house. To be honest, house was a misnomer. Estate was a much more fitting title. Many students and even some of the staff would be greatly surprised to learn that Severus Snape was actually one of the wealthiest men in the Wizarding world, and his home certainly reflected his bank account. It was a Neo-Victorian with a few customized touches, presumably to reflect the Potion master’s taste in Architecture, such as the Ionic columns by the entrance or the stained-glass windows, and not to be forgotten was were the pink neon letters that spelt out “Casa de Snape.” Behind the mansion were field in which Black slaves cut sugarcane under the watchful eyes of overseers."