How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie:
Just one. And I'll replace the wiring that is not up to code.
Daschund:
I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler:
Go ahead! Make me!
Labrador Retriever:
Oh, me, me!! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?? Huh? Huh?
Malamute:
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Doberman pinscher:
While it's dark, I'm going to go sleep on the couch.
Mastiff:
Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound dog:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Terrier:
Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer:
I see it, there it is, right there......
Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd:
Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheepdog:
Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Soft Coated Wheaten:
Can I lick it's face? Huh, huh, can I?
Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie:
Just one. And I'll replace the wiring that is not up to code.
Daschund:
I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler:
Go ahead! Make me!
Labrador Retriever:
Oh, me, me!! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?? Huh? Huh?
Malamute:
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Doberman pinscher:
While it's dark, I'm going to go sleep on the couch.
Mastiff:
Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound dog:
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Terrier:
Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer:
I see it, there it is, right there......
Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd:
Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheepdog:
Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Soft Coated Wheaten:
Can I lick it's face? Huh, huh, can I?
Vastaukset 2
Vanhimmat
Kuulostaa niin kovin kovin tutulta..
Welcome home!
I hear it! I hear the car! HER car! And she's coming this way! Oh, h, I must run in and grab a gift! I must greet her with a gift! Oh, 'BONK' missed the step. No matter, I must hurry. Move over, doggy door! She's coming, she's coming! Gift, gift, where, what, oh, oh, oh, ah! A plastic bottle she drinks from, right here on top of the container they call trash!
Oh, perfect. She's coming, she's coming! Oh, oh, oh...The door! I hear the door sound that sounds right before she comes in! Oh, it's OPENING! SHE'S HOME!
Oh, oh, 'wiggle, wiggle, wiggle' I cannot be still! You're home! And look, look, I have this nice bottle! Oh, oh, you're home! YOU'RE HOME! I have missed you so much, you've been gone hours, weeks, days, years! And so much has happened! A dog ran by and I chewed a tree and Pluto slept under the house and it rained a little! Oh, oh, oh! You're home, you're home
And you're touching me! I can't stand it, it's so marvelous! Oh, and you're speaking! "Murble, murble, good boy, murble, murble." YES! Your happy voice. Oh, I'm about to burst! I'm so happy, happy, happy! Yes! I want to jump! I'm not supposed to jump, but oh, oh, just a little jump! "Off." Darn. Oh, I cannot be still. I'll roll over and wiggle on my back!
Oh, yes! She's rubbing me-my tummy, my head, my sides! Oh, oh, oh. Now what? Now where's she going? Oh, oh, yes! Back to the room where we sleep at night! Great! It has the big pad we sleep on and 'L-E-A-P' I can get up here close to her. And here she comes! Oh, oh, oh! I can stand on my legs and put my paws around her neck and-uh oh. Can't lick with this bottle in my mouth. But it's my present to her! Oh, oh, what to do? And she's rubbing me! But I want to lick her, oh, oh, I think I'm about to burst!
"Off." Oh, darn. Drop the bottle. Oh, YES! She's coming back! She took off the pieces she puts on her eyes, and I can stand and 'lick, lick' I love you, I love you, I love you, I love 'lick, lick, lick' you taste so good, salty, sweet, I love that stuff you smear on your face every day, I love to lick it off, oh, oh, and you're rubbing me again! My back, my head, my ears, oh, oh 'lick, lick, lick'. "Murble, murble, Mac, good boy, murble, murble." "Off." Darn.
I will lay here and watch her. Watch her peel her fur-it's not very warm fur, I don't think. How does she do that? And I will get that look on my face that always makes her come and rub me. The look where I roll my eyes up, and keep my head flat here and she will come...and she's putting on her play skin! YES! We will play-sometime. My tail cannot be still. I am SO happy, happy, happy.
Now she's going in the room with the wonderful water bowl! I LOVE that water bowl-always cool, clean water! She'll be out in just a minute, just a minute, just a.....yes, she's coming! She's here again. Oh, oh, oh.... Now back to the room with the box that has pictures and sounds. Ah, I know what happens now. Yep, she's laying down on the big pad there. Now she'll sleep. But that's okay. She's HOME! SHE'S home. She's home. And she smells tired. So I will lay beside her here and guard her and wait while she sleeps. And when she wakes up she won't smell so tired. And we'll play and play.
S-i-g-h. I'll just rest with her now, and smell her while she sleeps. And wait again. For, the next thing that happens, HE'LL be home. And then, oh, oh, zzzzzzzzzzz
Olen tuon joskus lukenut aikoja sitten ja laittanut omille kotisivuilleni, vaikkakin suomenkielisenä. Taitaa siellä olla muutama rotu enemmänkin... Laitetaan tähän:
Kuka vaihtaa lampun?
Bordercollie: Kyllä minä teen sen. Saman tien tarkastan sähköjohtojen kunnon ja korjaan muutkin pikkuviat.
Rottweiler: "Minä minä minä eikä kukaan muu..."
Mäyräkoira: Tiedät hyvin etten ulotu siihen kirottuun lamppuun...
Alaskanmalamuutti: Borderi voi hoitaa homman. Kun se on poissa jaloista, voit antaa minulle ruokaa.
Jackrusselin terrieri: Joo minä nappaan sen lampun ohimennen pomppiessani seinältä toiselle!
Greyhound: Eihän se edes liiku... Ketä mokoma kiinnostaisi?
Cockerspanieli: Miksi vaivautua? Pimeässä voin vallan mainiosti pissiä matolle.
Mastiffi: Vaihda itse! MINÄ en pelkää pimeää!
Dobermanni: Niin kauan kuin on vielä pimeää, taidan loikata sohvalle kunnon nokosille.
Bokseri: Mihin valoa tarvitaan? Kumileluni vinkuu ihan yhtä hyvin pimeässäkin.
Pointteri: Näen sen lampun, tuolla se on, se on juuri tuolla!
Chihuahua: Yo quiero taco lamppu?
Australianpaimenkoira: Ensin, järjestän kaikki lamput pieneen ympyrään...
Länsi-Ylämaan terrieri: Eivät koirat vaihda lamppuja, ihmiset vaihtavat lamppuja! En ole yksi HEISTÄ, joten haluan vain tietää, kauanko minun on odoteltava täällä pimeässä?
Villakoira: Livertelen hieman borderille, niin se hoita homman. Sillä välin kun se pistää talon sähköt uusiksi, saan kynteni lakattua ja kuiviksi.
Kultainen noutaja: Aurinko paistaa, meillä on koko loppuelämä edessämme, ja sinä istut sisällä murehtimassa palanutta lamppua?!
Vanha englannin lammaskoira: Lamppu? Söin juuri jotain, lamppuko se oli?
Bassetti: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Japaninpystykorva: Lamppu? Eihän sitä voi edes silittää... Katso nyt minun pörröistä turkkiani, etkö mielummin silittäisi sitä? Unohdetan se lamppu ja sen sijaan annat minulla tuon juustonviipaleen leivästäsi...
Newfoundlandinkoira: "Lamppu"? Missä päin? Minä pelastan sen "lampun" ja sinut! Ällös pelkää, pelastaja on saapunut!
Bordeauxindoggi: Ei vaihdeta lamppua, eihän? Jos on pimeää, tulee enemmän varkaita, ja minä...
Samojedi: Nauran tuolle jutulle!
Dalmatiankoira: Tuollainen rupuinen lamppu! Eihän siinä ole edes pilkkuja...
Berninpaimenkoira: No niin, istutaan nyt kaikki tähän ja mietitään mitä pitää tehdä...
Keeshond: Hei kamoon! Vaihtakaa nyt joku se jumpuran lamppu, että näkisin edes arkin mitä vahtia
Suomenpystykorva: Ei ehdi! Pitää mennä metsään! "Leijonaa mä metsästän..."