If so, please share your opinions and experiences so that a non-Finnish speaker can also try and comprehend the complex cultural differences and other positive & negative sides of Finnish-Nigerian -relationships. You can also ask your Nigerian partner read the messages once everyone has written; it can be a refreshing experience for both of you! In my questions I refer only to a male subject, as I assume most readers come from a compilation of Nigerian man - Finnish woman, but if you happen to be in a vice versa situation it'll be even more interesting! I've done it only to avoid having to write "s/he", "husband/wife" etc. to every question. Okay?
Some questions to help you get started; please don't answer with plain yes and no but tell your own story. No one has the patience to scroll up and down to see which of the questions refers to which yes's and no's.
-Do you know your partner's real name and age?
-Are you sure?
-Did he get residence permit through marriage with you?
-If not, are you aware of how he got his residence permit, i.e. you have seen the actual document?
-Have you studied regulations regarding residence permits in order to realize and understand what requirements a Nigerian has to meet to keep himself in Finland?
-Why haven't you? It takes you 20 minutes and might give you useful information about the realities of your relationship.
-Have you ever felt he married you just to stay in Europe? If so, why?
-If you feel you have been used for a residence permit, how does it feel? Do you feel pain? Sorrow? Cheated?
-Does he have a "crazy" ex partner he says he is compelled to be with because of paper, her mental health, children, or any other reason?
-If so, have you actually spoken with the ex partner or are you relying on what your partner tells about her? Are you sure the ex partner knows about you?
-If he admits he got married to someone only because of a residence permit, is that okay with you? Are you comfortable with the idea that your partner is using someone just to get what he wants?
-Is he participating in all the expenses of your household, or is it difficult to make him pay for anything?
-Does he critizise your consumption of alcohol, even when it is less or equal to average in this country? Does he call you an alcoholic when you know you are not?
-Does he critizise your lack of religious devotion, claiming to be higher or better because he prays and goes to church?
-Have you been to an African church in Finland; how did it feel like? Is it different from Finnish church?
-If he is religious, does he seem to practise Christian values in his everyday life?
-Does he have friends from anywhere else except African countries?
-Is he learning Finnish?
-Do you know how much money he sends to his home country, and to whom?
-Does he have multiple phones/phone lines?
-Does he threaten you with violence, or use violence?
-Does he abuse you verbally?
-Is he faithful?
-Is he honest?
-Has he cheated on you?
-Did he admit it, or did he get furious every time you mentioned it, even after you got solid proof?
-Did he threaten you when you wanted to divorce? Did you fear for your/your children's safety?
-How many Nigerians have you had after the first one?
Thanks for your stories. They will definitely give many non-Finnish speakers some delightful moments in the exiting world of Finnish-Nigerian relationships.
Is your (ex-)partner a Nigerian?
45
3892
Vastaukset
- hatethose!!
This is going to be intresting..... Can u also write back in finish? Or only use english?
- 23
Siinä taas hyvä lista kaikille niksuun sekaantujille.
Jos vaimoke vaan edes leikillään näyttää listaa ukolle voi tulla turpakeikka.
Excellent list for all women with nigerians.
But those still with the men cannot be truthful not even for themselves.
- 10
Where are the positive questions?
- 34
Why?
When there can be no positive answers.
- ....
is married to a Nigerian man. He's awful but I have met a lot of Nigerian men who are kind and wonderful. There are both good and bad Nigerians it depends, but most of those that I have met have been bad.
- +++++?
are kind and wonderful as long as you don`t marry them...
- 3
+++++? kirjoitti:
are kind and wonderful as long as you don`t marry them...
yes, of course they are wonderful first. if they were bad from beggining the finnish women would not marry them. They are good at pretending...
- 22
3 kirjoitti:
yes, of course they are wonderful first. if they were bad from beggining the finnish women would not marry them. They are good at pretending...
Pretending. lieing, acting...
Until they have gotten what they wanted.
After that they show their real person.
Which is not a pretty sight. - BadGuy
22 kirjoitti:
Pretending. lieing, acting...
Until they have gotten what they wanted.
After that they show their real person.
Which is not a pretty sight.You guys are just naive...don't know shit......U guys said they lied, pretend and act to get what they want? why are u guys foolish enough to fall under such trap? As a matter of fact...i think most of you guys here are fools....and u guys will leave this f**king page and go ahead to fuck Nigerian guy....why? why don't ya m**therf**ker stick to ya white stinking, dirty men? I don't give a f**k about what u guys think about Nigeria guys...they are just too smart...u guys are just bunch of idiots.
- BadGuy
BadGuy kirjoitti:
You guys are just naive...don't know shit......U guys said they lied, pretend and act to get what they want? why are u guys foolish enough to fall under such trap? As a matter of fact...i think most of you guys here are fools....and u guys will leave this f**king page and go ahead to fuck Nigerian guy....why? why don't ya m**therf**ker stick to ya white stinking, dirty men? I don't give a f**k about what u guys think about Nigeria guys...they are just too smart...u guys are just bunch of idiots.
Why don't you guys bring intelligent topics in here....aside talking about Nigerian guys? let give me give u guys some advice....all you fools....u guys should go out...i mean to the center of helsinki...and declare that u don't want Nigerian guys in ur fucking country...afterall, the country is not even social enough.....why can't u cowards challenge Nigerian guys? Go to daily graphics, to the Tv station....tell them to publish that....go for riot.....and declare that u don't want them...crazy people...u guys should go outside..and see the world.....fooooooooools
- ex-naijawife
BadGuy kirjoitti:
You guys are just naive...don't know shit......U guys said they lied, pretend and act to get what they want? why are u guys foolish enough to fall under such trap? As a matter of fact...i think most of you guys here are fools....and u guys will leave this f**king page and go ahead to fuck Nigerian guy....why? why don't ya m**therf**ker stick to ya white stinking, dirty men? I don't give a f**k about what u guys think about Nigeria guys...they are just too smart...u guys are just bunch of idiots.
While being married to a Naija guy I learnt and know now A LOT OF shit.
"I don't give a f**k about what u guys think about Nigeria guys...they are just too smart..."
And still these "smarties" end up in Finnish jails or/and get deported... owwww that is soooooooo smart ;)) - badguygoodguy
BadGuy kirjoitti:
Why don't you guys bring intelligent topics in here....aside talking about Nigerian guys? let give me give u guys some advice....all you fools....u guys should go out...i mean to the center of helsinki...and declare that u don't want Nigerian guys in ur fucking country...afterall, the country is not even social enough.....why can't u cowards challenge Nigerian guys? Go to daily graphics, to the Tv station....tell them to publish that....go for riot.....and declare that u don't want them...crazy people...u guys should go outside..and see the world.....fooooooooools
for your advice BadGuy, w´ll do that!!!
- ex-naijawife
-Do you know your partner's real name and age?
Propably not though I've seen a lot of "official" documents ;)
-Are you sure?
Absolutely.
-Did he get residence permit through marriage with you?
Yes he did.
-Have you studied regulations regarding residence permits in order to realize and understand what requirements a Nigerian has to meet to keep himself in Finland?
Yes I have. How else did you think I got him the permit???
-Have you ever felt he married you just to stay in Europe? If so, why?
Yes. A woman knows.
-If you feel you have been used for a residence permit, how does it feel? Do you feel pain? Sorrow? Cheated?
I really couldn't care less.
-Does he have a "crazy" ex partner he says he is compelled to be with because of paper, her mental health, children, or any other reason?
That's the story he shouts out nowadays about me to anyone who cares to listen :D The only problem being I kicked him out a long time ago :)
-Is he participating in all the expenses of your household, or is it difficult to make him pay for anything?
Why do you think he got kicked out in the first place?
-Does he critizise your lack of religious devotion, claiming to be higher or better because he prays and goes to church?
Oh yes, the high and mighty naija church and all it's holy men, the straight line to god... lol
-Have you been to an African church in Finland; how did it feel like? Is it different from Finnish church?
Oh yes, what a circus!
-If he is religious, does he seem to practise Christian values in his everyday life?
Nope. He claims to be a good christian... it just doesn't show in his reality.
-Does he have friends from anywhere else except African countries?
He doesn't have friends, he claims ;)
-Is he learning Finnish?
Poorly.
-Do you know how much money he sends to his home country, and to whom?
A lot. To his Nigerian wife.
-Does he have multiple phones/phone lines?
Wanna know how many?
-Does he abuse you verbally?
He can't beat me ;)
-Is he faithful?
That's not in his vocabulary ;)
-Is he honest?
Are you joking? How many honest Naijas do you know???
-Has he cheated on you?
Oh yes.
-Did he admit it, or did he get furious every time you mentioned it, even after you got solid proof?
He still claims there's been no one (mistresses, wife in Naija) and I'm the only one he wants (what a moron!!!).
-Did he threaten you when you wanted to divorce? Did you fear for your/your children's safety?
No. But he still calls me his wife.
-How many Nigerians have you had after the first one?
None. And never will.
Thanks for your stories. They will definitely give many non-Finnish speakers some delightful moments in the exiting world of Finnish-Nigerian relationships.
For sure ;)- Naija ex
Nigerian men think they are smart, but I am happy most of Finnish women are smarter now. They know the role they are playing and wants money from all women. They can not be honest, not faithful, they are just too greedy. They want to be millionaires, they want to open a disco, bar or restaurant and become rich in Finland. Hahahaha. It will never happen. They don't have Christian values even if they claim to be God's children. Just cheating, playing, lying and thinking of themselves. I also threw my Nigerian husband out and he is crying because he wants me back. He could act for some months, but after a while, after marriage, I discovered what an asshole he is. And that was the end of story. I concider Nigerian men concentrating themselves on money and having electronics...showing and playing to relatives in Nigeria how they are "rich" in Europe and the relatives does not know the truth. I have never seen or met any people greedier than Nigerians. Sorry. Nothing is enough for them. Even if they have a loving wife, children and stability in life...they look for more. Greedy will kill them one day, and they will never be happy with anyone...
- fed up....
Naija ex kirjoitti:
Nigerian men think they are smart, but I am happy most of Finnish women are smarter now. They know the role they are playing and wants money from all women. They can not be honest, not faithful, they are just too greedy. They want to be millionaires, they want to open a disco, bar or restaurant and become rich in Finland. Hahahaha. It will never happen. They don't have Christian values even if they claim to be God's children. Just cheating, playing, lying and thinking of themselves. I also threw my Nigerian husband out and he is crying because he wants me back. He could act for some months, but after a while, after marriage, I discovered what an asshole he is. And that was the end of story. I concider Nigerian men concentrating themselves on money and having electronics...showing and playing to relatives in Nigeria how they are "rich" in Europe and the relatives does not know the truth. I have never seen or met any people greedier than Nigerians. Sorry. Nothing is enough for them. Even if they have a loving wife, children and stability in life...they look for more. Greedy will kill them one day, and they will never be happy with anyone...
men don´t know how to be REAL MEN, they´re just big children which never grows up! The finnish women r their real mothers who r expected to arrange everything they happens to need.They don´t know how to be fathers, husbands etc. Sad but true.
- 11
fed up.... kirjoitti:
men don´t know how to be REAL MEN, they´re just big children which never grows up! The finnish women r their real mothers who r expected to arrange everything they happens to need.They don´t know how to be fathers, husbands etc. Sad but true.
So true.
I was about to write the same thing.
Naija boyz r just looking for a mother who will do all their things for them.
They might eat and shit themselves but everything else must be done by the woman.
So so so lazy and arrogant men. - 18
11 kirjoitti:
So true.
I was about to write the same thing.
Naija boyz r just looking for a mother who will do all their things for them.
They might eat and shit themselves but everything else must be done by the woman.
So so so lazy and arrogant men.Wise words by Obinna I.
"why dont you just fuck and go thats what real brothers do" - only me
18 kirjoitti:
Wise words by Obinna I.
"why dont you just fuck and go thats what real brothers do"that is so true...naija men are looking for a second mother here in Finland, someone who will take care of his all needs, him doing nothing...a naija man can never have a decent relationship as he has to look for more and more women, to cheat on...or to take advantage of...
- sammytic
11 kirjoitti:
So true.
I was about to write the same thing.
Naija boyz r just looking for a mother who will do all their things for them.
They might eat and shit themselves but everything else must be done by the woman.
So so so lazy and arrogant men.u N UR KINDS ARE IDIOT, Y DO U SINGLE THEM OUT?THE ORIGINAL POSTER IS A DICK N AN ASSHOLE..SINCE WHEN DID NIGERIAN GUYS BECOME SO MANY IN FINLAND, WHEN NIGERIANS R NOT EVEN IN THE FIRST 15 HIGHEST FORIENG POPULATION IN FINLAND..SOME FINNISH WOMAN WHO R SO FAT N EVEN A GRAND MA AGE WANNA MARRY A 24 YEARS OLD MAN BECAUSE SHE THINKS AT FIRST HE IS NOT WISE,Y DONT SHE GO N MARRY A FINNISH GUY DAT AGE.HE THE IDIOT EXPECT DAT GUY TO BE WIT HER TILL D END OF HER LIFE..GET A LIFE..
- fgghffds
sammytic kirjoitti:
u N UR KINDS ARE IDIOT, Y DO U SINGLE THEM OUT?THE ORIGINAL POSTER IS A DICK N AN ASSHOLE..SINCE WHEN DID NIGERIAN GUYS BECOME SO MANY IN FINLAND, WHEN NIGERIANS R NOT EVEN IN THE FIRST 15 HIGHEST FORIENG POPULATION IN FINLAND..SOME FINNISH WOMAN WHO R SO FAT N EVEN A GRAND MA AGE WANNA MARRY A 24 YEARS OLD MAN BECAUSE SHE THINKS AT FIRST HE IS NOT WISE,Y DONT SHE GO N MARRY A FINNISH GUY DAT AGE.HE THE IDIOT EXPECT DAT GUY TO BE WIT HER TILL D END OF HER LIFE..GET A LIFE..
Maybe GRANNY don`t expect a lifelong relationship, she`s just enyoing her life as long as it takes. It`s you NAIJA guys who makes the first contact with theese MUMMUS in most of the cases. You offer yourself to them when you need papers. Mummu knows very well that it`s a committement for four years, after that she can have the next one. If she still wants. And when it comes on papers even a 200 pounds granny is good enough.LOL . So both parts wins.
- wonderingit
are the same, why ??
Im reading these texts here ... " He doesn`t have friends, he claims". That sentence is just one example.
Why do they all say they don`t have friends, but still they go out to club every weekend and meet other guys ( and women... ) there ??
Why are they so arrogant and proud and greedy? Nothing is enough. Relationship is hell. U are the ugliest, worst woman, worst mother, cleaner and chef, u are bad in everything. First months are good, man is telling u only positive things and pretending as if he has European values and he believes in equality between man and a woman.
Truth is...traumatic :(
But it is still very weird how come they all seem to be the same ? Same stories, same lies, same words... Are they planning it all togehter ??- finnish girl
Nigerian men ar just like u have written before. The same story every time. In the beginning they seem to be understandable and caring, but the truth comes sooner or later. I had a wonderful relationship with an Nigerian man who loved and cherished me and our chemistry - which all was a big lie, scam in the end.. Beginning i felt beeing the only one for him, cos he said he doesnt need anyone else in his life, he gets everything from me. And it was true. Our relationship was full of romance, chemistry and we had an connection to talk about anything. We shared lauhgters and sorrows and he was always there for me as I was for him, without a doubt. He actually said many times he loves me so much and always made me belive in his owerwhelming words of how precious I was for him. Everything seemed to be so fine and I was in love like never before. This kind of emotions no one had never made me feel before - I could do anything for him.. Well, problems seemed to come little by little. After everything, I have find out, that he has tried almost every second woman in this Finland behind my back.. Those things I found out when I started to read his phone cos he seemed to hide something from me. If I asked somethings he was always angry and became arrogant. He felt that I tried to control him - but I was only worried about his strange behaviour and talks and admires of some other women.. I could have never believed that he was such an liar. He was always so good with his talks to me that all my worries and matters disappeared after he had convised me about his loyalty and love to me. Still...he was intrested of so many. I am a beautiful girl and those girls he had tried were not like me - so I was somdering. It is true that noting is enough for Nigerian men. They want always something more and it doesnt matter who, he just want girls to admire and fall for them. I dont get this. Between me and him it was perfect - we were in love and I believe and I have seen that he really cared me too - he just couldnt be or didnt know how to be with one person. I have a good appearance and many men in Finland are after me. It feels so bad and hurts when I founded out that he had been intrested and tried other girls behind my back. Things were not like he tried to make me belive. I just wonder why this form is so common with Nigerian men. How they can lie and hide constantly and act so perfectly I wonder. They seem to be emotionless bastards and they will do whatever to have what they want and need.
- 8977
finnish girl kirjoitti:
Nigerian men ar just like u have written before. The same story every time. In the beginning they seem to be understandable and caring, but the truth comes sooner or later. I had a wonderful relationship with an Nigerian man who loved and cherished me and our chemistry - which all was a big lie, scam in the end.. Beginning i felt beeing the only one for him, cos he said he doesnt need anyone else in his life, he gets everything from me. And it was true. Our relationship was full of romance, chemistry and we had an connection to talk about anything. We shared lauhgters and sorrows and he was always there for me as I was for him, without a doubt. He actually said many times he loves me so much and always made me belive in his owerwhelming words of how precious I was for him. Everything seemed to be so fine and I was in love like never before. This kind of emotions no one had never made me feel before - I could do anything for him.. Well, problems seemed to come little by little. After everything, I have find out, that he has tried almost every second woman in this Finland behind my back.. Those things I found out when I started to read his phone cos he seemed to hide something from me. If I asked somethings he was always angry and became arrogant. He felt that I tried to control him - but I was only worried about his strange behaviour and talks and admires of some other women.. I could have never believed that he was such an liar. He was always so good with his talks to me that all my worries and matters disappeared after he had convised me about his loyalty and love to me. Still...he was intrested of so many. I am a beautiful girl and those girls he had tried were not like me - so I was somdering. It is true that noting is enough for Nigerian men. They want always something more and it doesnt matter who, he just want girls to admire and fall for them. I dont get this. Between me and him it was perfect - we were in love and I believe and I have seen that he really cared me too - he just couldnt be or didnt know how to be with one person. I have a good appearance and many men in Finland are after me. It feels so bad and hurts when I founded out that he had been intrested and tried other girls behind my back. Things were not like he tried to make me belive. I just wonder why this form is so common with Nigerian men. How they can lie and hide constantly and act so perfectly I wonder. They seem to be emotionless bastards and they will do whatever to have what they want and need.
So true.....!!
Im young and pretty but still not enough.... Whats wrong with this ppl? - hkhj
8977 kirjoitti:
So true.....!!
Im young and pretty but still not enough.... Whats wrong with this ppl?Cultures are different from each other. They really are. You just have to understand this with all its implications.
- tallullah
hkhj kirjoitti:
Cultures are different from each other. They really are. You just have to understand this with all its implications.
We all know how most of them are and what they can be/do(maybe all the bad ones came her :D ).But can u seriously say that all are like that.U know that is bullshit. I can tell u so many stories about finnish men too, and u dont say that all are like that
- 235325
tallullah kirjoitti:
We all know how most of them are and what they can be/do(maybe all the bad ones came her :D ).But can u seriously say that all are like that.U know that is bullshit. I can tell u so many stories about finnish men too, and u dont say that all are like that
You know, using "u" instead of "you" is a very immature expression. It looks especially silly when the text is otherwise (grammar, vocabulary) basic elementary school english without any slang etc.
- ex
finnish girl kirjoitti:
Nigerian men ar just like u have written before. The same story every time. In the beginning they seem to be understandable and caring, but the truth comes sooner or later. I had a wonderful relationship with an Nigerian man who loved and cherished me and our chemistry - which all was a big lie, scam in the end.. Beginning i felt beeing the only one for him, cos he said he doesnt need anyone else in his life, he gets everything from me. And it was true. Our relationship was full of romance, chemistry and we had an connection to talk about anything. We shared lauhgters and sorrows and he was always there for me as I was for him, without a doubt. He actually said many times he loves me so much and always made me belive in his owerwhelming words of how precious I was for him. Everything seemed to be so fine and I was in love like never before. This kind of emotions no one had never made me feel before - I could do anything for him.. Well, problems seemed to come little by little. After everything, I have find out, that he has tried almost every second woman in this Finland behind my back.. Those things I found out when I started to read his phone cos he seemed to hide something from me. If I asked somethings he was always angry and became arrogant. He felt that I tried to control him - but I was only worried about his strange behaviour and talks and admires of some other women.. I could have never believed that he was such an liar. He was always so good with his talks to me that all my worries and matters disappeared after he had convised me about his loyalty and love to me. Still...he was intrested of so many. I am a beautiful girl and those girls he had tried were not like me - so I was somdering. It is true that noting is enough for Nigerian men. They want always something more and it doesnt matter who, he just want girls to admire and fall for them. I dont get this. Between me and him it was perfect - we were in love and I believe and I have seen that he really cared me too - he just couldnt be or didnt know how to be with one person. I have a good appearance and many men in Finland are after me. It feels so bad and hurts when I founded out that he had been intrested and tried other girls behind my back. Things were not like he tried to make me belive. I just wonder why this form is so common with Nigerian men. How they can lie and hide constantly and act so perfectly I wonder. They seem to be emotionless bastards and they will do whatever to have what they want and need.
Sounds so familiar although my ex is Ghanaian.. quess they are all the same :(
- il lalla
to meet, sad to get to know.
- allLove
I might not be the perfect example, cos unlike what you're looking for, my story is happy. I met my nigerian husband 12 years ago when I was working in Nigeria. We fell in love very quicly, but we didn't act on it, because my husband thought that his family woudl not approve. After 3 years I came back to Finland, with tears in my eyes. After one year I decided that I can't live without him. I went back to Nigeria. He was waiting for me with his whole family. When I got out of the car, he proposed to me, infront of his family and everybody. I said yes. We got married and lived in Nigeria for 6 years. All this time I wanted to come back to Finland, but my husband said he can't leave his family. Two years ago his mother died. His brother moved to Sweden to study and finally, finally, he agreed to come to Finland. Now, we are living our dream, both working and living in our own home. Through all our marriage we have been equal, never very big problems. Our first baby will be born in two months and life couldn't be better.
- 4
U met ur husband in Nigeria. Not here in Finland. Most of the nigerian guys here are trying to get a woman cos of papers to stay here. Big difference.
- allLove
4 kirjoitti:
U met ur husband in Nigeria. Not here in Finland. Most of the nigerian guys here are trying to get a woman cos of papers to stay here. Big difference.
You might be right. We don't really interact with other nigerians here in Finland, but in Nigeria the general attitude towards me, was that I was the "ticket to wealth", that's why my husband didn't want to go public with me. My point was anyway, that sometimes there is exeptions to the rule :)
- Rakas Watson
veronmaksajat kiittavat tastakin rikkaudesta.
- 9ja2daCore
4 kirjoitti:
U met ur husband in Nigeria. Not here in Finland. Most of the nigerian guys here are trying to get a woman cos of papers to stay here. Big difference.
Hey No. 4! You have to check the kind of person you are first before you make a general talk or assessment about Nigerian men. What papers? Do you think every Nigerian here just love because of papers, too bad if your answer is yes. I am preparing my response to this opinion page soon.
- longmarriage
-Do you know your partner's real name and age?
Yes I do.
-Are you sure?
Oh yes.
-Did he get residence permit through marriage with you?
No, he didnt.
-If not, are you aware of how he got his residence permit, i.e. you have seen the actual document?
Yes, I am aware. I have seen the papers.
-Have you studied regulations regarding residence permits in order to realize and understand what requirements a Nigerian has to meet to keep himself in Finland?
Yes, I know the regulations.
-Have you ever felt he married you just to stay in Europe? If so, why?
No reason to think so.
-Does he have a "crazy" ex partner he says he is compelled to be with because of paper, her mental health, children, or any other reason?
Nope, he has a very nice ex-wife.
-If so, have you actually spoken with the ex partner or are you relying on what your partner tells about her? Are you sure the ex partner knows about you?
We meet the ex-wife all the time. There are no problems between us.
-If he admits he got married to someone only because of a residence permit, is that okay with you? Are you comfortable with the idea that your partner is using someone just to get what he wants?
He wouldnt admit such a thing, and if the ex-wife doesnt complain why should I?
-Is he participating in all the expenses of your household, or is it difficult to make him pay for anything?
He is the breadwinner of the family and he has always tried to be. But it has not been easy.
-Does he critizise your consumption of alcohol, even when it is less or equal to average in this country?
No, he doesnt critizise my consumption of alcohol at all.
Does he call you an alcoholic when you know you are not?
Hah, no he doesnt.
-Does he critizise your lack of religious devotion, claiming to be higher or better because he prays and goes to church?
We have agreed to disagree about religion. We dont discuss it.
-Have you been to an African church in Finland; how did it feel like? Is it different from Finnish church?
I have been there. Not my cup of tea.
-If he is religious, does he seem to practise Christian values in his everyday life?
He tries, at least.
-Does he have friends from anywhere else except African countries?
Yes, he does.
-Is he learning Finnish?
Yes, he has to speak Finnish at work, but he still prefers English.
-Do you know how much money he sends to his home country, and to whom?
Yes, we plan those things together. We used to fight over money a lot before, thou.
-Does he have multiple phones/phone lines?
No, he doesnt.
-Does he threaten you with violence, or use violence?
Never.
-Does he abuse you verbally?
No, I guess it is me who sometimes does that...
-Is he faithful?
Yes, nowadays. Before we were not :-/
-Is he honest?
He tells white lies all the time like all Nigerians, but he doesnt lie about 'big issues', aka not about things that could hurt me or us.
-Has he cheated on you?
Yes. I cheated him back. Now we are grown ups.
-Did he admit it, or did he get furious every time you mentioned it, even after you got solid proof?
He admitted it when it was too obvious to deny anymore.
-Did he threaten you when you wanted to divorce? Did you fear for your/your children's safety?
He has never done anything like that even if I have told him a million times that I will leave him. He knows I will not do that.
-How many Nigerians have you had after the first one?
I sincerely hope I dont have to have more :-D
Btw, the focus of these topics here on S24, and on this topic also, is on young couples and those naija guys who are new in this country. Just for the record, there are Finnish-Nigerian couples here that have been together for 20 years and have adult kids. Believe it or not, both these girls and these boys that they mock here will grow up someday. But before that happens...try and tolerate yourselves...;)- naijaboy
I am very sure,if you are not a Finn,then certainly u r a ghanaian male ,for starting this kind of thread, however, why did u single nigerian men out??most africans in this country came here either to study or as refugees/married to a finnish person.most of the finnish ladies commenting r xxxl or grandma age,they shop for black men from every night bar n changing black men ie nigerian men like they change undies,particularly 37 n above,she meet a desprate nigerian who need to stay here,n she says to herself age is number or bullcrap like dat,she goes n get married with him, thinking i have gotten this one for life.offcoure ,when he is settled he will look for he own age mate n type.nigeria has one of the lowest dirvorce rate in africa,check the internet.
- voltron
these threads are really funny and quite annoying when you read them
it really is low for the Finnish women seriously when a particular subject is debated over and over again
it makes any wise person ask questions like are these women stupid or they themselves just love the drama
how do you think a marriage will work when you go in obviously not trusting the person from the start and you still foolishly get married
yeah yeah stop that fagot excuse of they pretend so well its either you are plain stupid or have no brains
trust me 99% of Finnish women are more of immigration police than wife to their husbands '
how do you expect to know him or even get the marriage to work when all your attention is on his papers
really a piece of very useful advice for young Finns who intend for interracial marriage
get your advice from actually people who have had positive experience or professionals not from losers who have been up and down the whole dark sides of relationships cos you will definitely be posting a thread like these if you do - Jagbajantis
I cant but laugh at most of the allegations laid upon Nigerian men as a whole....You people shouldnt generalize everyone to be the same. Its just like saying that all Finnish men are faithful, loving, daddy-type husband. but the reality is that some of them also cheat, have children with another women outside their marriage, beats their wives ...dont tell me this aint through...if u wanna question this, lemme ask you this: what is the reason for most women going to jail in Finland?..is it not because they are disgusted towards their hubby?..
At least someone like "AllLove" had a good experience with a Nigerian man. Nigeria is not a country of 5 million people, you will expect to see people with different attributes/behaviours in a country of up to 200million population and more than 50 ethnic groups.
I know a Nigerian that has been with his girl for more than 2 years now. they met in Finland and has never had any intention of using the girl for any permit purposes. He came here for studies and he is still using his student permit up till now. He still lives in his own little student apartment and work hard to survive here and send take care of his family at home. This guy even bought a return ticket to Nigeria for his girl as a birthday present...So tell me, can you say all Nigerian men in Finland are dishonest and not real?
Thinking about you people saying that Nigerian men are opportunistic, can you tell me the reason why Thai ladies follow your "stick-in-the-ass" Finnish men down to Finland after visiting the country for few weeks?....Or cant you see the flamboyant lifestyle that these girls usually live in Finland (bringing all their family to Finland, driving expensive cars courtesy of their "dump-ass" hubby)...They even life better life than you Finnish women with a Finnish husband. Upon how much most of these Finnish men have lost to the "tight-pussy" Thai babes, they still travel there for an "happy ending" sex every year which will still lead to them bringing another Thai girl to Finland. I know a Finnish guy that has brought 5 different Thai girls to this country just because of their sexual pleasures.
What im leading at is that..Finns have the same attribute (be it man or woman). You guys never venture into anything if you dont see anything that will benefit you (in this case: a sex machine with a Big Black Dick or a tight pussy). Otherwise, you are just a "dump-ass fool" that will never learn from your mistakes. - Oceania**
-Do you know your partner's real name and age? YES I Do!
-Are you sure? Absolutely.
-Did he get residence permit through marriage with you? No, he had a permit to be in Finland already for the past 6 years.
-If not, are you aware of how he got his residence permit, i.e. you have seen the actual document? Err I have seen his passport, permit based on studies.
-Have you studied regulations regarding residence permits in order to realize and understand what requirements a Nigerian has to meet to keep himself in Finland? Yes I have.
-Why haven't you? It takes you 20 minutes and might give you useful information about the realities of your relationship.
-Have you ever felt he married you just to stay in Europe? If so, why?
Um, not at all
-If you feel you have been used for a residence permit, how does it feel? Do you feel pain? Sorrow? Cheated?
-Does he have a "crazy" ex partner he says he is compelled to be with because of paper, her mental health, children, or any other reason? No he
has never been married before.
-If so, have you actually spoken with the ex partner or are you relying on what your partner tells about her? Are you sure the ex partner knows about you?
-If he admits he got married to someone only because of a residence permit, is that okay with you? Are you comfortable with the idea that your partner is using someone just to get what he wants? No I am not comfy with that.
-Is he participating in all the expenses of your household, or is it difficult to make him pay for anything? He participates definitely and buys me lots of gifts ;)
-Does he critizise your consumption of alcohol, even when it is less or equal to average in this country? Does he call you an alcoholic when you know you are not? Err NO!
-Does he critizise your lack of religious devotion, claiming to be higher or better because he prays and goes to church? Nope, has never done that.
-Have you been to an African church in Finland; how did it feel like? Is it different from Finnish church? Yes I have, it was nice; lots of music and praising.
-If he is religious, does he seem to practise Christian values in his everyday life? Yes he does practice them in his daily life.
-Does he have friends from anywhere else except African countries? Yes
he does have friends from all over the world.
-Is he learning Finnish? KYLLÄ!
-Do you know how much money he sends to his home country, and to whom?
Yes
-Does he have multiple phones/phone lines? Yep and I know all of them
-Does he threaten you with violence, or use violence? NEVER
-Does he abuse you verbally? NEVER
-Is he faithful? YES
-Is he honest? YES
-Has he cheated on you? NOPE
-Did he admit it, or did he get furious every time you mentioned it, even after you got solid proof?
-Did he threaten you when you wanted to divorce? Did you fear for your/your children's safety?
-How many Nigerians have you had after the first one? ??? We're still married..- one1ana
Open ur eyes Oceania!
- respectwhatuhave
Naija ex ... You are so right !!!! It could have been my text .... U give ur everything, sacrifice for ur husband, help him with all the things, take care of a baby u had together ... and still.... There is no respect. He tells u that u are nothing. That u are shit. I cannot understand a person who does not care about hes children and family. In the end, he will find himself being alone, time after time.
- thinkcritical?
Hi, I'll put this straight, there are certain kinds of people that are filtered into this discussion or thread, whichever you prefer. Mostly people with bad experiences, people that maybe haven't been very critical, people who are slightly bitter and hurt (for a good reason) about their past experiences, people that made their decisions a bit rashly. When I was younger I wanted a lion as a pet. There are a few cases that a lion will be successfully domesticated. I'm not saying Nigerians are lions, but I'm saying that you should be aware that human beings in general are on top of the food chain for a reason. So when dealing with any person one should display a reasonable degree of caution. Against the popular idealistic consensus, locks on bicycles are not for the thieves if they want it they'll get it, they are for the common 'honest' people (reference: stanford prison experiment, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment and the common german during the nazi party rule). I would like to know some things about the people that answer these questions and are writing here:
How old are you?
Which part of Finland do you live in or did you live in while with the Nigerian?
What were you looking for from the relationship if not a good time(i.e. sex or the like)?
Where did you meet the Nigerian, club, school, etc?
What was or is his profession?
Why is he in Finland?
How long had or has he been in Finland?
What were or are his plans regarding his stay?
What kind of family does he have? number of siblings, number of mothers and fathers(rarely more than one)?
What is his parents educational background, have you talked with them, can you understand their English?
Does he have other family abroad?
The first three are the most important the rest you should always ask yourself when dealing with a foreigner anyway. Yes the world is not the nicest of places you have to be careful, but don't act naive and start generalising everyone as jerks after. And a general clue , a rule of thumb if a girl is easy thats quite often how she'll be treated easy come easy go. There are exceptions though.
I mean no disrespect, just want to be realistic.- 234342234
My thoughts exactly!
- :DDDDDDDD:DDDDDDDDDD
No.
But she was a n1gger. - mireilla
i never want to get involved with a Nigerian anymore, one was enough and have seen so many disasters, greedy, selfish and people with no respect for other people...they are just thinking of themselves and that things would go fine for themselves...using women...some have plenty of women to buy them everything they want...disgusting indeed...so Naija men, you are not popular in Finland...only a fool will have a relationship with a Naija man...if you say you are with a Naija man, people laugh at you as they have the worst reputation of African men among Africans, too...
- uiopölkj
Victor. U from Helsinki. He is liar, many girlfriends...I wasnt his girlfriend. But I know that man...beware!
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