If you're in a codependent relationship with a controlling or needy woman, you might find that the relationship is especially restrictive. Some common traits of these relationships include:
•You have to always let her know where you are
•When you're out, you have to speak on the phone multiple times a day
•You are discouraged from keeping female friends
•She takes an active dislike of some of your friends and/or family, and feels offended that you would have them as part of your life
•She attempts to control your internet usage, or monitors your email and other online communications (Facebook, etc.)
•She shows excessive jealousy
•She has difficulty letting petty issues go, and instead insists that you both talk about them at length
•She mistrusts you and casts a suspicious eye, even if you've done nothing wrong
•She's often critical of your behavior
•You find yourself often "walking on eggshells" around her
•Your friends tell you that you shouldn't put up with her, but you feel the need to stay
•You can't speak your mind because you're too afraid of how she'll react
•You've considered breaking up for a long time, but you don't want to break her heart
•You feel that she may not be able to live without you, or you've tried to break up and she threatened drastic action (quitting her job, hurting herself, etc.)
Aika hyvä lista täältä ja sopii varmaan naisillekin..
http://ezinearticles.com/?Men,-Are-You-in-a-Codependent-Relationship-With-a-Needy,-Controlling,-Or-Emotionally-Volatile-Woman?&id=2220700
•You have to always let her know where you are
•When you're out, you have to speak on the phone multiple times a day
•You are discouraged from keeping female friends
•She takes an active dislike of some of your friends and/or family, and feels offended that you would have them as part of your life
•She attempts to control your internet usage, or monitors your email and other online communications (Facebook, etc.)
•She shows excessive jealousy
•She has difficulty letting petty issues go, and instead insists that you both talk about them at length
•She mistrusts you and casts a suspicious eye, even if you've done nothing wrong
•She's often critical of your behavior
•You find yourself often "walking on eggshells" around her
•Your friends tell you that you shouldn't put up with her, but you feel the need to stay
•You can't speak your mind because you're too afraid of how she'll react
•You've considered breaking up for a long time, but you don't want to break her heart
•You feel that she may not be able to live without you, or you've tried to break up and she threatened drastic action (quitting her job, hurting herself, etc.)
Aika hyvä lista täältä ja sopii varmaan naisillekin..
http://ezinearticles.com/?Men,-Are-You-in-a-Codependent-Relationship-With-a-Needy,-Controlling,-Or-Emotionally-Volatile-Woman?&id=2220700
Vastaukset 2
Vanhimmat
Periaatteessa hyvässä suhteessa ei ole tuollaisia käytöshäiriöitä kuin listassa luetellut. Eli jos niitä alkaa ilmenemään suhde on jollakin tavalla toiselle osapuolelle turvaton ja asia ei luultavasti parane ainakaan käymällä listaa kohta kohdalta läpi tyyliin:"Joo, sussa olis tuo ja tuo havaittavissa nyt, eilen olit tuollainen, olet siis tällainen".
Monesti tuollaisista tulee vain sille henkisesti laiskalle osapuolelle asia, jolla hutaista toinen hiljaiseksi, eli vallankäytönväline. Koska moni asia on normaalia parisuhteessa, johon molempien ainakin ensialkuun odotetaan sanattomasti sitoutuvan kaikkinensa.
Kyllä mulla ainakin herää epäluottamus ja epäluulot jos toinen jatkuvasti jättää asioistaan kertomatta. Pahimmillaan vielä niin, että onkin ainoa suurinpiirtein jolle niistä ei kerrota. Jos sellaisesta syntyy riitaa, toinen voikin sitten vetää hihasta kortin, "ei sun kanssa voi puhua, koska aina pitää varoa mitä sanoo" .. Ja tilanteiden jatkuessa ja toistuessa saakin lopulta kuulla olevansa tätä, tuota ja vielä hullu narsisti..
Ihan esimerkin vuoksi :) Miten parisuhteeseensa panostamattoman, henkisesti laiskan ihmisen kanssa voi tulla vallan kahvasta vääntöä niin, että siitä kärpäsestä kasvaa se härkänen sarvineen, päineen ja häntineen..
Ja jos antaa vain olla, onkin sitten välinpitämätön. Että perse eellä puuhun vaan, lista kourassa.
Niin, ja oikeasti oikeat ihmiset siis käyvät terapiassa keskustelemassa ne asiat yksikseen, jotka minä ainakin vielä pitkään katsoin parisuhteeseen kuuluvaksi ihan molemminpuolisen huomioonottavuuden nimissä...
*nykyaika vai mikä lie*
Tuo restrictive on avainsana. Rajoittunut (ja siksi rajoittava).