2008 OT triller jatkuu .

sic luovuta jo haaveet oikiksesta. et sinne tule pääsemään :)

suoraan alan vaihtoa. Ei oikein vakuuta nämä vastaukset ja hakemukset..

Eiköhän se ole aika selvä peli, jos vuosi toisensa jälkeen vetää alle 10 pistettä kokeesta. Ikäväähän se on myöntää itseklle, ettei oma haave toteudu, mutta tappion myöntäminen on viisauden alku tai jotain sinne päin..

Mutta voithan aina hakea oikeustradenomiksi..

Ps. Älä viitsi kuormittaa oikeuslaitostamme enempää, päätös ei tosta muuksi muutu ja siellä olis oikeasti tärkeämpiäkin asioita jonossa.

Meni just niin kuin ennakoinkin.

Tässä myös ennakkoarvio hovioikeuden päätöksestä:

Joko: valitus jätetään tutkimatta, koska valituskirjelmä on niin puutteellinen, ettei se kelpaa muutoksenhaun perustaksi.

Tai: valitus seulotaan kokonaan tai hylätään "ei syytä"-perusteella kursorisen tutkimisen jälkeen.

Oikeasti. Anna periksi. Pelkkä kanteen nostaminen käräjäoikeudessa osoittaa, että et ymmärrä yhtään mitään juridiikasta, etkä tule koskaan ymmärtämäänkään. Ihan perusasioihin kuuluu tietämys siitä, mikä on toimivaltainen tuomioistuin (ja tuossa tapauksessa oikea forum ei ole edes millään tavalla tulkinnanvarainen). Lisäksi kirjallinen ilmaisusi on niin puutteellista, että et koskaan tulisi pääsemään oikeustieteen opinnoista läpi etkä pystyisi harjoittamaan juristin ammattia.

Paasikiven sanoin: Tosiasioiden tunnustaminen on viisauden alku.

No, ilmeisesti sairaalle ihmiselle on turha yrittää selittää.

Oletpahan tuottanut hupia muutamalle tuomarille. Ja hovissakin juttuasi nauretaan viskaalien kahvipöydässä.

If you have just got your degree and you are thinking “hey, better think about a job” and you are deluding yourself about law, here is the essential info. Yes, that’s right: EVERYTHING you need to know from here on.

Don’t thank me.

1) Choice of profession
You can either go to the Bar or to a Solicitors firm*. The Bar is good if you like dressing up. But only if you like monochrome dressing up. It is illegal to wear bright clothes unless you are a Cardinal or CofE Bishop. A solicitors firm will serve you well if you like being treated like a moron by sweaty fat people who cannot control their stress.
Options at the Bar:
Criminal: travelling to far away courts in parts of East Anglia where people who have two heads are considered blessed. Explaining why your client does not deserve to be convicted even though he has eaten all his children (he thought he was a rat).
Commercial practice: sitting in chambers waiting for a law firm to ask you about contract law. Finding different ways to clean the plaque off your teeth with paper clips.
Personal Injury: arguing interesting points of law about causation and remoteness and then getting ready for trial to discover that the insurer woke up today and got his wallet out so it’s all over and see you in El Vinos.
Public Law: having to find rational ways of criticising the completely irrational behaviour of mongs who only took the job in the civil service because they never had a values system and didn’t like rules, plus this black motorhead t-shirt has been good to me so I’m going to be good to it, roight?
Employment: explaining to employers that bending over backwards is simply not enough. They must bend over forwards and be violently bummed by their staff at their staff’s election and failure to do so will result in Squidillions of Moolah And Disgrace For Eternity. Alternatively encouraging lazy scrotes to do feck all and, when picked up for doing feck all, say it was “stress” through “oppression”. Spending more time in Croydon than is healthy.
Chancery: sex with the clerk whilst the Silks are watching.
Tax: deviant chancery.

Options at a law firm (seats)
Corporate: Like Judaism in the 1930s ghetto, but without the perks
Banking: inventing 3-letter acronyms and wearing suits made of lion’s pubes and living in the Senior Partner’s bumcrack.
Litigation: violence for those not sufficiently courageous to hit people
Employment: corporate for lesbians
Tax: corporate for gheys

2) how to get on
at the Bar, change your name to Quentin or Orlando. Speak with your teeth shut and only move your upper lip. Do not carry money. Allow your breath to tell people which club you are a member of. Ignore the big things in life. Drink too much. Divorce someone and then remarry them then divorce them again. Have an affair with the disabled woman in chambers and then discover they are a man.

At a solicitors firm, change your name to David. Grow a large stomach and wear your trousers so your stomach hangs over it like a melting 99. Go bald but don’t cut it round the sides (think Dilbert’s boss). Write articles about e-disclosure, data protection and listing rules without really knowing what they are. Retire at 55 to spend more time with your toenail clippings. Get shitty about the little things in life.

3) Mooting
Is so important to your prospects, it just makes me want to cry. Moot, moot, moot. You must moot. If you don’t moot you will be passed over. Moot until you don’t think you can moot any more, but then moot some more. Moot at night, moot by day. Moot in different countries, different languages and different time zones. Try to moot outside the normal parameters of the time space continuum to set yourself apart from other mere mortal mooters. Moot with the Baby Jesus. Moot with the Devil. Moot in shops, on railway platforms, in the bath and during sexual intercourse with garden gnomes.
Those who fail will have failed through lack of mooting.

4) CVs
Must be at least 10 pages. Tell them everything you’ve done. Ever. Remember when you copped a look at your aunt’s fannycarpet? Get that in.

is all. Ta.






*Note: If you are a numpty you can become a legal executive and be lawfully discriminated against for being a bit dim, but I don’t deal with this in this guide. For guidance on that read “Are you a numpty with a social disorder? Try shooting people in American Universities or become a Legal Exec”