Katsotaanpa mitä ajatuksia on niillä
Amerikkalaisilla jotka eivät lämpene iskuille.
Yhdysvaltalaisen elokuvaohjaajan ja kirjailijan
ajatuksia tuoreeltaan,olkaapa hyvät.
All I Am Saying Is Give War a Chance
10/08/01
Dear Friends,
It's about time! I was beginning to worry that
George II didn't have it in
him, that he might wander off to vacation in
Omaha again. But finally, the
bombs are raining down on Afghanistan and, as
Martha Stewart says, that's a
good thing.
Oh, don't get me wrong -- I deplore war and
killing and violence. But, hey,
I'm a pragmatist, I know where I live, this is
America and dammit,
somebody's ass had to get kicked!
Our Leader, a former baseball club owner, could
have at least had the
decency to wait one more day until the baseball
season was over. Poor Barry
Bonds -- will anyone even remember what he did a
month from now? At least
Fox had the good grace to get the football game
back on the tube within an
hour of the war's start! They KNEW none of us
could stomach looking at
Stepford Drones from Fox News for the rest of the
day.
Fellow liberals, lefties, Greens, workers, and
even you loveable Gore
voters and recovering Democrats -- let me tell
you why I think this war on
Afghanistan is good for all of us:
1. Network Unanimity in Naming The War. It has
been so confusing the past
four weeks, what with all the networks calling
this thing we are in by so
many names: "America's New War," "American Under
Attack," America Fights
Back," "War on Terrorism," etc. Now, nearly every
network has settled on
"America Strikes Back."
I like this because, first of all, it honors
George Lucas. We're a humble
people, we Americans, so we can't quite bring
ourselves to call it "The
Empire Strikes Back." "Empire" sounds a little
scary, and there's no use
reminding the rest of the world that we call all
the shots now. So "America
Strikes Back" is appropriate (and, as Sunday was
the last day of baseball,
"strikes" has the necessary sports metaphor we
like to use when bombing
other countries).
2. The Citizenry Can Now Go Back to What They
Were Doing. I don't know
about you, but nearly four weeks of anxious and
tense anticipation of what
would happen next was starting to wear me down. I
thought nothing could top
what spending the whole summer agonizing over
whose baby it was on
"Friends" did to me.
But the last four weeks was worse than a bad
classic rock extended drum
solo. NOW we have resolution. NOW we know the
ending -- the bombing to
smithereens of a country so advanced it has, to
date, laid a total of 18
miles of railroad tracks throughout the entire
country! How very 19th
century of them! I hope our missiles were able to
take them out. I don't
want this thing going on forever. Best that we
obliterate them before they
come up with some smart idea like the telegraph.
3. Dick Cheney Has Been Moved Into Hiding Again.
This can only help. The
farther this mastermind can be kept from young
Bush, the better. He's like
that creepy friend of your dad's who has taken a
bit too much of a shine to
you. Wait -- he *is* that creepy friend of his
dad's! Anytime I hear they
have transported Cheney out of town and into a
bunker in the woods, I feel
safe. And don't worry about him having any
workable form of communications
with Bush -- remember, this is a government which
discovers that a known
terrorist is taking flying lessons in Florida and
does nothing.
4. Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Orrin Hatch Will
All Be Fighting This War
for Us! These are all honorable men, men of
their word, men who would not
expect someone else to fight their battles for
them. They have all called
for war, revenge, blood -- and, by God, it is
blood I want them to have!
Now that we are at war, let us insist that those
who have cried the loudest
for the killing be the first to go and do just
that!
I would like to see, by the end of the day, Rush
and Bill, Orrin and the
rest of their colleagues down at the recruiting
station signing up to join
the U.S. Army. Sure, I know they are no longer
young, but there are many
jobs they will be able to do once they get
through the Khyber Pass. Surely
these men would not expect our sons and daughters
to die for something that
they themselves would not be willing to die for.
To make it easy, guys, you
can just go to the Army's website right now!
http://www.goarmy.com/index02.htm
Get your butts over there to Afghanistan and
defend a way of life that
allows companies like Boeing get rid of 30,000
people while using the
tragedy in New York as their shameful excuse.
5. Really Cool War Footage. It's been way too
long since we've been able to
watch those cruise missiles and smart bombs with
their little cameras on
them sail in and blow the crap out of a bunch of
human beings. This time,
let's hope the video is in color and that it's
attached with a miniature
set of Dolby speaker microphones so we can hear
the screams and wails of
those Afghanis as our shrapnel guts them into
strips of bacon. Oh, and
let's pray the video can be loaded into my Sony
Playstation!!
6. Better a Quickie War Than the Permanent War.
Orwell warned us about this
one. Big Brother, in order to control the
population, knew that it was
necessary for the people to always believe they
were in a state of siege,
that the enemy was getting closer and closer, and
that the war would take a
very long time.
That is EXACTLY what George W. Bush said in his
speech to Congress, and the
reason he said it is because he and his buddies
want us all in such a state
of fear and panic that we would gladly give up
the cherished freedoms that
our fathers and those before them fought and died
for. Who wouldn't submit
to searches, restrictions of movement, and the
rounding up of anyone who
looks suspicious if it would prevent another
September 11?
In order to get these laws passed that will strip
us of our rights, they
have been telling us that we are in a LONG and
PROTRACTED war that has no
end in sight. Don't buy it! We are bombing
Afghanistan, and THAT is the
only war in progress. It should be over anywhere
from a few days from now
or in about nine years (Soviet-style). Either
way, it will end. The good
guys will win. And, if George II is anything like
George I, then the bad
guy will win, too, getting to live and go on
doing what he enjoys doing
(what were we, like, 40 miles from Baghdad?)
while we continue to bomb the
innocents (540,000 Iraqi children killed by U.S.
in last ten years from
bombs and sanctions).
As I'm sure you must agree, there are many
upsides to this war. Sure, The
Emmys got cancelled again, and, as a nominee this
year, I already found out
that I wasn't getting one of those little gold
people so who cares if I
can't walk down the red carpet in my Bob Mackie
gown? I don't even wear a
gown -- I wear pants, ill-fitting pants at that!
Yesiree, I say, BOMBS
AWAY! Rockets red glare! We are all WHITE WITH
FOAM!
And please, dear friends, let's look at the
bright side for once: The last
time a Bush took us to war and got a 90% approval
rating, he was toast and
a ghost the following year. You can't get better
than that.
Yours,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
Amerikkalaisilla jotka eivät lämpene iskuille.
Yhdysvaltalaisen elokuvaohjaajan ja kirjailijan
ajatuksia tuoreeltaan,olkaapa hyvät.
All I Am Saying Is Give War a Chance
10/08/01
Dear Friends,
It's about time! I was beginning to worry that
George II didn't have it in
him, that he might wander off to vacation in
Omaha again. But finally, the
bombs are raining down on Afghanistan and, as
Martha Stewart says, that's a
good thing.
Oh, don't get me wrong -- I deplore war and
killing and violence. But, hey,
I'm a pragmatist, I know where I live, this is
America and dammit,
somebody's ass had to get kicked!
Our Leader, a former baseball club owner, could
have at least had the
decency to wait one more day until the baseball
season was over. Poor Barry
Bonds -- will anyone even remember what he did a
month from now? At least
Fox had the good grace to get the football game
back on the tube within an
hour of the war's start! They KNEW none of us
could stomach looking at
Stepford Drones from Fox News for the rest of the
day.
Fellow liberals, lefties, Greens, workers, and
even you loveable Gore
voters and recovering Democrats -- let me tell
you why I think this war on
Afghanistan is good for all of us:
1. Network Unanimity in Naming The War. It has
been so confusing the past
four weeks, what with all the networks calling
this thing we are in by so
many names: "America's New War," "American Under
Attack," America Fights
Back," "War on Terrorism," etc. Now, nearly every
network has settled on
"America Strikes Back."
I like this because, first of all, it honors
George Lucas. We're a humble
people, we Americans, so we can't quite bring
ourselves to call it "The
Empire Strikes Back." "Empire" sounds a little
scary, and there's no use
reminding the rest of the world that we call all
the shots now. So "America
Strikes Back" is appropriate (and, as Sunday was
the last day of baseball,
"strikes" has the necessary sports metaphor we
like to use when bombing
other countries).
2. The Citizenry Can Now Go Back to What They
Were Doing. I don't know
about you, but nearly four weeks of anxious and
tense anticipation of what
would happen next was starting to wear me down. I
thought nothing could top
what spending the whole summer agonizing over
whose baby it was on
"Friends" did to me.
But the last four weeks was worse than a bad
classic rock extended drum
solo. NOW we have resolution. NOW we know the
ending -- the bombing to
smithereens of a country so advanced it has, to
date, laid a total of 18
miles of railroad tracks throughout the entire
country! How very 19th
century of them! I hope our missiles were able to
take them out. I don't
want this thing going on forever. Best that we
obliterate them before they
come up with some smart idea like the telegraph.
3. Dick Cheney Has Been Moved Into Hiding Again.
This can only help. The
farther this mastermind can be kept from young
Bush, the better. He's like
that creepy friend of your dad's who has taken a
bit too much of a shine to
you. Wait -- he *is* that creepy friend of his
dad's! Anytime I hear they
have transported Cheney out of town and into a
bunker in the woods, I feel
safe. And don't worry about him having any
workable form of communications
with Bush -- remember, this is a government which
discovers that a known
terrorist is taking flying lessons in Florida and
does nothing.
4. Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Orrin Hatch Will
All Be Fighting This War
for Us! These are all honorable men, men of
their word, men who would not
expect someone else to fight their battles for
them. They have all called
for war, revenge, blood -- and, by God, it is
blood I want them to have!
Now that we are at war, let us insist that those
who have cried the loudest
for the killing be the first to go and do just
that!
I would like to see, by the end of the day, Rush
and Bill, Orrin and the
rest of their colleagues down at the recruiting
station signing up to join
the U.S. Army. Sure, I know they are no longer
young, but there are many
jobs they will be able to do once they get
through the Khyber Pass. Surely
these men would not expect our sons and daughters
to die for something that
they themselves would not be willing to die for.
To make it easy, guys, you
can just go to the Army's website right now!
http://www.goarmy.com/index02.htm
Get your butts over there to Afghanistan and
defend a way of life that
allows companies like Boeing get rid of 30,000
people while using the
tragedy in New York as their shameful excuse.
5. Really Cool War Footage. It's been way too
long since we've been able to
watch those cruise missiles and smart bombs with
their little cameras on
them sail in and blow the crap out of a bunch of
human beings. This time,
let's hope the video is in color and that it's
attached with a miniature
set of Dolby speaker microphones so we can hear
the screams and wails of
those Afghanis as our shrapnel guts them into
strips of bacon. Oh, and
let's pray the video can be loaded into my Sony
Playstation!!
6. Better a Quickie War Than the Permanent War.
Orwell warned us about this
one. Big Brother, in order to control the
population, knew that it was
necessary for the people to always believe they
were in a state of siege,
that the enemy was getting closer and closer, and
that the war would take a
very long time.
That is EXACTLY what George W. Bush said in his
speech to Congress, and the
reason he said it is because he and his buddies
want us all in such a state
of fear and panic that we would gladly give up
the cherished freedoms that
our fathers and those before them fought and died
for. Who wouldn't submit
to searches, restrictions of movement, and the
rounding up of anyone who
looks suspicious if it would prevent another
September 11?
In order to get these laws passed that will strip
us of our rights, they
have been telling us that we are in a LONG and
PROTRACTED war that has no
end in sight. Don't buy it! We are bombing
Afghanistan, and THAT is the
only war in progress. It should be over anywhere
from a few days from now
or in about nine years (Soviet-style). Either
way, it will end. The good
guys will win. And, if George II is anything like
George I, then the bad
guy will win, too, getting to live and go on
doing what he enjoys doing
(what were we, like, 40 miles from Baghdad?)
while we continue to bomb the
innocents (540,000 Iraqi children killed by U.S.
in last ten years from
bombs and sanctions).
As I'm sure you must agree, there are many
upsides to this war. Sure, The
Emmys got cancelled again, and, as a nominee this
year, I already found out
that I wasn't getting one of those little gold
people so who cares if I
can't walk down the red carpet in my Bob Mackie
gown? I don't even wear a
gown -- I wear pants, ill-fitting pants at that!
Yesiree, I say, BOMBS
AWAY! Rockets red glare! We are all WHITE WITH
FOAM!
And please, dear friends, let's look at the
bright side for once: The last
time a Bush took us to war and got a 90% approval
rating, he was toast and
a ghost the following year. You can't get better
than that.
Yours,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
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