I am well educated but unemployed for 1 year. I had try hard to find a job. I can hardly find a job because my finnish is not good and my previous employer is in jyvaskyla. we have 3 kids home.
I stay at home everyday, cooking, cleaning and take care of kids. my husband did not give any hand on housework. he went to travelling sometimes, then everything is on me as well.
I can not get into a full day language program, so I went to an evening course twice per week.
I feel so lonely and useless here, and I feel blue time to time. we are living in a summer cottage area without any neighbor, we need to drive 15 min to the main road.
my husband have not been taken me out for a dinner or a movie or any activity for years, even he can not have sex with me without porno movies mostly. nobody help me to take care of kids, and we do not have our time at all. we do not have close touch or kiss often.
I am away from my family and my homecountry and stacked here now. when I tell my husband how I feel, that I dont feel I have a life here, he only pissed off and get angry, I dont understand why??
He said that he gave me full right to go out to meet friends, but all my friends have job and family and their life, and I dont not have such friends here that I want to share my privancy.
I have been hold by myself for long time, and I feel that I will break down soon.
actually my expectation is very low, when I feel blue, please hug me, when I cry for lonelyness and homesick, please take me out for one day. hold me for 30 seconds, no teasing, no talking, let me feel you are there for me. give me a kiss before you leave home. I dont not want to share time with others, only you, and some quality time, not bullshit time.
please put the dirty clothes in wash when you passby it the 10th time, clean the dishwasher when you see its ready, clean the floor once per month, cook for us once per month, give me a break from kichen time to time.
do I expect too much? or our love fade away already? we have been married 8 years.
I am very dissappointed that he got angry instead of hold me and listen to me. by the way, I dont not complain often, maybe every second month.
I stay at home everyday, cooking, cleaning and take care of kids. my husband did not give any hand on housework. he went to travelling sometimes, then everything is on me as well.
I can not get into a full day language program, so I went to an evening course twice per week.
I feel so lonely and useless here, and I feel blue time to time. we are living in a summer cottage area without any neighbor, we need to drive 15 min to the main road.
my husband have not been taken me out for a dinner or a movie or any activity for years, even he can not have sex with me without porno movies mostly. nobody help me to take care of kids, and we do not have our time at all. we do not have close touch or kiss often.
I am away from my family and my homecountry and stacked here now. when I tell my husband how I feel, that I dont feel I have a life here, he only pissed off and get angry, I dont understand why??
He said that he gave me full right to go out to meet friends, but all my friends have job and family and their life, and I dont not have such friends here that I want to share my privancy.
I have been hold by myself for long time, and I feel that I will break down soon.
actually my expectation is very low, when I feel blue, please hug me, when I cry for lonelyness and homesick, please take me out for one day. hold me for 30 seconds, no teasing, no talking, let me feel you are there for me. give me a kiss before you leave home. I dont not want to share time with others, only you, and some quality time, not bullshit time.
please put the dirty clothes in wash when you passby it the 10th time, clean the dishwasher when you see its ready, clean the floor once per month, cook for us once per month, give me a break from kichen time to time.
do I expect too much? or our love fade away already? we have been married 8 years.
I am very dissappointed that he got angry instead of hold me and listen to me. by the way, I dont not complain often, maybe every second month.
Vastaukset 5
Vanhimmat
hi. i'm a home mom too. no, I dont think that you expect too much. Its right that you try to take care of your own mentaly! Im so sorry to hear how tired you are.. I have lnly two kids ans we live in the center of our home city.. And I still feel sometimes lonely and tired too. Maby its this that we are "home moms".. have to take care of everybody else;)
I believe that your husband loves you with his own way. Men often are like that -they dont do much homework and waits the "ready cook dinner on the table".. My husband is a bit same.. thanks for God I love cooking fook and making household works! but I also understand the problem "of time".. you have three kids so it takes a lot of time to take care of them and everything else..
I think that before you have a totally burn out.. you should try to find somewhere helpto that you get a little bit a time for your self. Maby you could ask from a church? there is some even free action to kids.! and is there any young people in the nabourhood? for "babysitting".. bay 5-8e/h.. I think that some student girls would love a chance to get some more money in the pocket. and try to get another mom friends! you can change babysitting turns..
but try to take care of your self too. you are so right! its important to your kids too.. that their mom is on good condition.. ♥
sorry for my bad english writing skil;) a take care!
thanks for your understanding. I can not help tear out when I read your message. I don love cooking and I cook good food home, it took me every meal min. one hour, some times even 3 hours. everyboday loves my food. but if I am in the kitchen and home all the time, I feel so bad.
as I say, we are living in the middle of no where, 4km to the main road, then 7km to city, there is one few families living along our road. most of them are at the beginning of the road. the nearby neighbor is about 300meters away, an old lady. we do not have any real neighbor, without a car, we can not go out and in.
the point is I feel totally abanded here, and my husband dont care of me. he just eat and sit and geting fater and fater, then think that I have a wonderful life here. because of the lonelyness for the kids, we also have a dog and cat, I also need to take care of them. he might feed the dog once per week. only sometimes take dog for a walk.
I use to have a good job and I work very hard to earn my reputation, but I have to give up because his home town is here and his job is here.
Have I not done enough? if there is no difference with a husband and without a husband, what the hell I am holding here? the situation really drive me crazy and I am in the eage of break down. recently I am crying time to time and feel hopeless here.
Its so hard to give a wice when there is a marriage, three beautiful children, life what you have build together. Have you dreamt your life somewhere else? Think the possibility.. what kind it would be? You alone, with your three children? Can you see that you would be happy? Happier than now? Its really good that you think about your own health and condition. But think really hard before making any decision. Do you see any ways to make your life better there, where you live? Would there be any chance to have another car.. just for you? Do you have driving licence?
When I have had a ruf days and weeks.. I just try to watch in the future. Children grows very fast and before you realized.. they are in the school and studing.
That what you feel about your husband.. the most important thing is to listen your own mind. Make your own decision.. nobody can tell you what to do about your marriage. You must be sure.. only because you have kids together.. so it about their life too. Nowdays many marriage will fail just because people dont want to do enough work for their marriage.. relationships. And now I dont mean you. I mean your husband. I know for a experience.. what it feels like when somebody keeps you for grandit.. like a doll, whitch will do what ever you say. And its so wrong!:(
So listen to your self. And I think you are doing the right decisions.. what ever you decide to do. Just remember to be Sure what ever you will do!
Hugs from here.. and I hope that you find a way for a better life..
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