Disorder in the Court

helena

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these
are excellent - don't miss the last one.
>
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
>
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
>
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
>
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
>
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
>
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
>
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
>
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
>
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
>
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
>Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

1

1314

    Vastaukset

    Anonyymi (Kirjaudu / Rekisteröidy)
    5000
    • Otso

      Oli kyllä hyvä! Varsinkin tuo viimeinen.

    Ketjusta on poistettu 0 sääntöjenvastaista viestiä.

    Luetuimmat keskustelut

    1. Suureksi onneksesi on myönnettävä

      Että olen nyt sitten mennyt rakastumaan sinuun. Ei tässä mitään, olen kärsivällinen ❤️
      Ikävä
      86
      1819
    2. Perusmuotoiset TV-lähetykset loppu

      Nyt sanoo useiden HD-muotoistenkin kanavien kohdalla äly-TV, ettei kanava ole käytössä, haluatko poistaa sen? Kanavia
      Apua aloittelijalle
      145
      1278
    3. YLE Äänekosken kaupunginjohtaja saa ankaraa arvostelua

      Kaupungin johtaja saa ankaraa kritiikkiä äkkiväärästä henkilöstöjohtamisestaan. Uusin häirintäilmoitus päivätty 15 kesä
      Äänekoski
      62
      1100
    4. No ei sun asunto eikä mikään

      muukaan sussa ole erikoista. 🤣 köyhä 🤣
      Ikävä
      62
      966
    5. Hyvin. Ikävää nainen,

      Että vainoat ja stalkkaat miestäni.onko tarkoituksesi ehkä saada meidät eroamaan?no,siinä et tule onnistumaan
      Ikävä
      78
      902
    6. Uskomaton tekninen vaaliliitto poimii rusinoita pullasta

      Korni näytösesitelmä menossa kaupunginvaltuustossa. Juhlia ei ole kokouksista tiedossa muilla, kuin monipuolue paikalli
      Pyhäjärvi
      84
      840
    7. Linnasuolla poliisi operaatio

      Kamalaa menoa taas meidän ihanassa kaupungissa. https://www.uutisvuoksi.fi/paikalliset/8646060
      Imatra
      29
      826
    8. Martina lähdössä Ibizalle

      Eikä Eskokaan tiennyt matkasta. Nyt ollaan jännän äärellä.
      Kotimaiset julkkisjuorut
      126
      819
    9. Katsoin mies itseäni rehellisesti peiliin

      Ja pakko on myöntää, että rupsahtanut olen 😆. Niin se ikä saavuttaa meidät kaikki.
      Ikävä
      47
      817
    10. Mitä mietit Honey?

      Kulta nainen ❤️❤️
      Ikävä
      57
      810
    Aihe