This happened, mainly to the great King David, after a battle 956 B.C:
King David howled for frustation. He had been in a war what was commanded him by Lord himself. But after two weeks, King David was very pissed off, for he's gay lover, Jonathan, had choosed to stay in home and practise he's anal ring control system.
King David:
"Where into hell is my hunting spear?!!? I want put it in my ass, for Jonathan is not here!!! I want feel dick, or something long and tough, moving inside my bowel!!!"
King David's general, Joab:
"But, sir, surely you can use one of our war horses! Their's prick is bigger than anyone other's! Trust me , i know...and Jonathan's pathetic dick is nothing comparing to our horses dicks!"
King David:
"You're right! You have a wise head! I like you, and i will grant you honor to suck my dick and shoot your sperm into my face, but don't fuck me into my anus, for only with Jonathan i allow such thing to happen. And with the God of Israel, of course!"
King David's general, Joab:
"WHAT?!!? ZOMG!!! Did God of Israel fuck YOU into anus?!? I thought only Elijah have THAT honor! Harharhar! This is almost as fun as killing and mutilating little childrens and womans!!! Ruhahahaa!!!"
*Maniacal laughter(tm)*
King David:
"SHUT UP!!! And WTF?!!? If you lie i'm gonna rape and kill you, maybe not in THAT order, but...and WHY into name of...of Baal that psychotic God didn't tell me that he's screwing with Elijah?!? He'll pay for this treachery! Both of them!!!"
*King David pull he's hunting spear out of he's anal*
King David's general, Joab:
"I don't know, and i really couldn't care less. Maybe Elijah have bigger dick, tighter ass than you've or better anal ring control, but hey, you've still those war horses...they're fairly hot, i think. I mean, Afterall, we're murderous, Paranoid, bloodthirsty lunatics favored by the Lord of Idiots!"
*More maniacal laughter*
King David:
"Yeah, that's for sure! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA! Nothing is more greater than seeing my victim's wet eyes and their pleading face when i deliver lethal blow! RUHAHAHAHAAA!! Lord of slaughter will feast tonight!!!"
*Even more maniacal laughter*
*These terrifying characters laugh even more, and like total fuckheads*
(What, in fact, they are. Just read Old Testament.)
King David, a.k.a The Great Asshole:
"OKAY!!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! I think Lord of Idiots is now pleased our pathetic attempt to look cool!!! Now However, Praised be your name, Joab! You're my great general, i will give you much honor, and something else...Now, could you fuck me into anus? Let's make God of Israel jealous!"
King David's general, Joab:
"What?! But we're not in our barracks now and besides i've the clap which i got when i screwed with that Baal cultist and...OW!!! Not so hard goddammit!!"
King David:
"You better get along with that, boy. Afterall, who's the great champion here huh?! CALL ME AS DAVID!!!"
And in the another dimension, mister fancy pants wanked ferociously he's ridiculously small dick and hoped that David will finish soon. He wanted to show he's champion trick or two...
King David howled for frustation. He had been in a war what was commanded him by Lord himself. But after two weeks, King David was very pissed off, for he's gay lover, Jonathan, had choosed to stay in home and practise he's anal ring control system.
King David:
"Where into hell is my hunting spear?!!? I want put it in my ass, for Jonathan is not here!!! I want feel dick, or something long and tough, moving inside my bowel!!!"
King David's general, Joab:
"But, sir, surely you can use one of our war horses! Their's prick is bigger than anyone other's! Trust me , i know...and Jonathan's pathetic dick is nothing comparing to our horses dicks!"
King David:
"You're right! You have a wise head! I like you, and i will grant you honor to suck my dick and shoot your sperm into my face, but don't fuck me into my anus, for only with Jonathan i allow such thing to happen. And with the God of Israel, of course!"
King David's general, Joab:
"WHAT?!!? ZOMG!!! Did God of Israel fuck YOU into anus?!? I thought only Elijah have THAT honor! Harharhar! This is almost as fun as killing and mutilating little childrens and womans!!! Ruhahahaa!!!"
*Maniacal laughter(tm)*
King David:
"SHUT UP!!! And WTF?!!? If you lie i'm gonna rape and kill you, maybe not in THAT order, but...and WHY into name of...of Baal that psychotic God didn't tell me that he's screwing with Elijah?!? He'll pay for this treachery! Both of them!!!"
*King David pull he's hunting spear out of he's anal*
King David's general, Joab:
"I don't know, and i really couldn't care less. Maybe Elijah have bigger dick, tighter ass than you've or better anal ring control, but hey, you've still those war horses...they're fairly hot, i think. I mean, Afterall, we're murderous, Paranoid, bloodthirsty lunatics favored by the Lord of Idiots!"
*More maniacal laughter*
King David:
"Yeah, that's for sure! MUAHAHAHAHAHAA! Nothing is more greater than seeing my victim's wet eyes and their pleading face when i deliver lethal blow! RUHAHAHAHAAA!! Lord of slaughter will feast tonight!!!"
*Even more maniacal laughter*
*These terrifying characters laugh even more, and like total fuckheads*
(What, in fact, they are. Just read Old Testament.)
King David, a.k.a The Great Asshole:
"OKAY!!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! I think Lord of Idiots is now pleased our pathetic attempt to look cool!!! Now However, Praised be your name, Joab! You're my great general, i will give you much honor, and something else...Now, could you fuck me into anus? Let's make God of Israel jealous!"
King David's general, Joab:
"What?! But we're not in our barracks now and besides i've the clap which i got when i screwed with that Baal cultist and...OW!!! Not so hard goddammit!!"
King David:
"You better get along with that, boy. Afterall, who's the great champion here huh?! CALL ME AS DAVID!!!"
And in the another dimension, mister fancy pants wanked ferociously he's ridiculously small dick and hoped that David will finish soon. He wanted to show he's champion trick or two...
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