The War Against Masturbation

Onneksi www.whitehouse.org ei ole Valkoisen talon virallinen sivusto, vaan joidenkin humoristien ylläpitämä feikkisivu.

Onhan se pila, mutta helkkarin hyvä sellaisena. Sehän on pilailua siitä, kun usassa on ympärileikattu pojat, sen takia että ne ei pääse vetään käteen. Mutta ne vetää kuitenkin.
Kunnon veto on päivän paras asia, niin se on miehelle kun naiselle.
Naisiakin kehoitetaan ostamaan kunnon vibra, kun monesti jää kunnon orkut pois miesten hätäisyyden takia.
Itsellä on sellainen kahden vempain, sen kanssa on joskus mukava leikkiä, sekä muijan kanssa että yksin.

Silti alkoi oksettaa!

Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated masturbation among their women! How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a Clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. (Clitoridectomy has gotten a bad reputation in the West, but only because in Africa it is often done with crude instruments, without anesthesia, and under unsanitary conditions. Up until recently, this proud and noble procedure had been outlawed in the United States by the ruling hedonists and sodomites of the Democratic party. President Bush is proud to unilaterally overturn this law by the power of Executive Order #13252-V, thereby clearing the way for safe and effective Clitoridectomies for all American females - performed in sterile, modern operating rooms with plenty of soothing anesthesia. A woman who has had a Clitoridectomy is permanently cured of masturbation and other lascivious behavior, and is ready to resume her life as a decent and productive member of American society. Furthermore, Operation Infinite Purity makes Clitoridectomies mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery isn't just for females! Castration for adult males will become the standard punitive measure for repeat masturbatory offenders.