Paljonkohan onanointi

For pleasure only 6 calories
For exercise, too    10 calories
For relief from tension 12 calories
To pass the time    7 calories
To avoid overeating    16 calories
To get in touch with inner self 10 calories
To get in touch with outter self 10.5 calories
To avoid insanity       24 calories
To avoid spending money on a date (In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.)    9 calories
Using your hand(s)       11 calories
Using your finger(s)       9 calories
Using tweezers        2 calories
Using an inflatable doll    24 calories
Using Any fruit or vegetable (Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley)       19 calories
Using a vibrator, hand-operated 12 calories
Using a vibrator, windup    9 calories
Using a vibrator, electric    5 calories
Using anything not mentioned here 50 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket        2.5 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat         78 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat        3 calories

Osta sykemittari, pistä kalorinlaskutoiminto päälle ja ryhdy hommiin.