Lapsi vastaan nyk. vaimo

Hämmästyttää???

Mitäs sanotte kun ex-vaimo olisi antanut lapsen jo 2 kertaa aiemmin yhteishuoltajuudella,mutta nykyinen ei ole suostunut koska vihaa/pelkää että exä voisi kontrolloida tätä uusio perhettä.Nyt tilanne on se että exä olisi valmis antamaan yksinhuoltajuuden mutta nykyinen ei suostu koska hommaan kuuluisi että minä maksan puolet matkoista.En voi enään kieltäytyä koska tiedän että lapsella on parempi täällä,joten sanoin että heippa sit nykyiselle kun pitää valita.Nykyinen kyllä tykkää lapsesta mutta viha exään on kasvanut liian suureksi että lapsi rupee kärsiin.Nyk. periaate on että mitään ei anneta exälle

7

761

    Vastaukset

    Anonyymi (Kirjaudu / Rekisteröidy)
    5000
    • luonnontieteilijä

      Nää tilanteet on aina tapauskohtaisia ja hyvin monisyisiä. Mutta noin yleisenä periaatteena: nainen rakastaa vain omia jälkeläisiään. Tämä on biologinen fakta, ja se kannattaa tajuta mahdollisimman varhain.

    • hän laskee rahojaan

      Olen nähnyt näitä tapauksia, ja ne toistavat aina itseään. Jos otat lapsesi luoksesi, niin seuraavaksi urputus alkaa siitä, että SINUN lapseesi käytetään rahaa ja nykyisesi alkaa laskea kolikoitaan, ettei vaan häneltä kuluisi senttiäkään vieraan "pennun" elatukseen. Ei siinä pohjimmiltaan ole kysymys pelkästään siitä, että exälle ei anneta mitään. Seuraavaksi hän on kuitenkin mustasukainen joka minuutista, jonka vietätät lapsesi seurassa.
      Eipähän tuollaisessa tilanteessa ole paljoa muuta tehtävissä, kuin valita, kumpi on tärkeämpi, oma lapsi vai nykyinen.

    • vaasauniversity

      I am Hämmästuttää present wife, i think.
      first,I am sorry for the situation now. and i declear once more in public that I am not against to take his kids. I knew the feeling to be a parents because i had my own daughter with single coustody with me here. and i thank for my husband to accept my daughter in the new family and they are geting well along with each other, and his daughter and my daughter they also love each other.
      the fact is I had made enough compramise on his ex. and kids issue. now i want to see what is more important for his future. his ex can not take her ex man as her ATM, and use the kids as her credit card. her ex. had three kids with three different men, maybe she had learned that this is the best way to make a living in Finland for a Thai.
      last year, when his ex moved to Helsinki, she did not agree to pay anything for the travelling. we have to pay everything. my husband explained to me that if we want to see their kids, we have to pay everything. that is finnish law, because his ex. does not have money. ok, after arguement, i thought that we are not going to dying because of this money, so i accepted it. even in the contract it is every second year holiday, but as i told my husband, as far as we have the money for flight tickets, your daughter can come here any time, actually, her daughter was with us every holiday. but still time to time, his ex trying to violance me by some action. i just say that the changing clothes we prepare for their daughter will be kept in our place since my daughter is 2 years younger, and we are poor, when it is smaller for his daughter, my daughter can still wear them. because of this, his ex sent her daughter here without ANY changing clothes,no socks, no underwear, even in cold winter, she did not dress the daughter warm clothes here. and she did not allow their daughter to take anything to here for her holiday use.
      now his ex. sepearate with her third ATM, and wants to give daughter to us. it is fine to me. but she planed that she will not pay us any support money, instead, she ask us to pay half of the travelling costs. yesterday, my husband told me that he consult others, that even with single custody, we need to pay half. then i want to ask, why last year when his ex. did not want to pay anything, he told me that according to the law, who wants to meet the kids should pay everything? seems the finnish law is made from his mouth! he wants to accept, then i leave.
      one more thing cold my love down to him!!! I am preganent now, I had his baby in my body, and yesterday when i say that i will leave, he print out and immediately ask me to sign the divorce paper!!! and i planned to have abortion today because he does not want the baby, and i also think it is not the good time. but look what he did. so nice man, I just told him that dont behave like an asshole now, try to learn how to say goodbye friendly.
      There were so many story in our life and arguement. I am really tired, especially his coldness to me, when we had arguement, he did not touch me over weeks, even I come to him. not mention any good sex life. i feel sometimes i like a married widow.

      his ex. played trick with us from first time meet me in finland and demostrated to me that how good she can control his ex ATM.she asked him to buy clothes for her second kids, asked him to buy make-up thing when we were in holiday trip. awful enouth tricks.
      I had done what I could do, and it is my time to say NO. even our chinese culture teach us to be tender and generous, but there is a limit. it is not about money, it is about my self-respect and my own life. i will not take any common propety from this family, only an old tv and dvd for my daughter. If a family has gone, what is the meaning to take some material, nothing can compensate the hurt from heart.
      THANKS FOR READING AND CONCERNING OUR ISSUE. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU UNDERSTAND ME, I JUST TELL THE TRUTH AND SPEAK OUT.
      THANKS AGAIN FOR MY HUSBAND( STILL MY HUSBAND TODAY) TO BE WITH ME FOR NEARLY TWO YEARS. THERE ARE LOVE MEMORY STILL MAKE ME SMILE. IT IS A PITY THAT WE CAN NOT MAKE OUR LIFE FURTHER MORE.
      ONCE AGAIN, i MAKE MY WORDS HERE, I WILL NOT BE YOUR TROUBLE FOR YOUR FUTURE. AND I WILL NOT SCRICH ANY MONEY FROM YOU. MY WORK CAN MAKE ME A LIVING HERE, OR IF I CAN NOT MAKE IT, I WILL BACK TO CHINA. I WILL NOT DISTURBE YOU AS YOUR EX. SO LET'S SAY GOODBYE PEACEFULLY.
      if you see this message, dont forget to come back to drive me to hospital for abortion at 12 o'Clock today as we agreed.
      Thanks for all of you again!

    • vaasauniversity

      my husband complain to me that my dauhgter is here with me, but his daughter can not. I fully understand his worry to his daughter, and i also ask him to check what is the real situation over there with his ex. but he dare not to call, to ask, to negotiate, because he knew that he can not handle his ex. his ex is just teasing us with everything. if her daughter is under the situation that no one take care, or his mother abandant her and I still insiste to my point, then I am an asshole. but at this moment, her mother can still take care of her, just her daughter does not want to move back to Helsinki. if his ex. really seriously thinking for the benefit of kids, she should take her responsibility to let the daughter go. it is ME to suggest that even with the single custody, i am not against her mother's visiting rights. we should agree on the daughter's visit to her mother, because i knew the kids are biologically more closer to their mother all the time. but since she will not pay any support money for her daughter to us, and she own 160.000 euros to my husband,and her debt to my husband will gone with the wind soon. so she should pay the daughter's travelling cost by herself at least. as long as her mother well behave herself, not teach the daughter to against us( she had done this before), she will get as much chances to meet her daughter as she wants. and my ex. never made any trouble to me and disturbe my new family because he knew that i could offer our daughter a better future. we just agreed that if one day i am in very bad situation and he has better life, he will take care of our daughter. i should say i am lucky that my ex. knows what is good for me and for my daughter.
      moreover, I am not only angry to his ex.bad behavior but also to my husband, if he could treat me little bit better and warmer in our daily life, i could make more compramise and let things going on. I resign my job in Mesto paper to come with him, I can not find a job here immediately, so I apply the university for my master degree study, and i got it. I can not accept the job Metso offer to me in jyvaskyla before because i think my family is more important than my job. but now my husband has showed me what is more important to him, i dont think i could sacrafis my future any more. I am not a refugge, and I know how and what my life should be.
      thanks again for listening.
      Life is hard to everyone!

    • vaasauniversity

      I dont think I am a cold-hearted person. even if the agreement says that her mother will pay the travelling cost, but if she is well-behave herself, dont disturbe our life, and if she is really in the bad situation that she can not afford the tickets, she can call me and say' i am sorry, i dont have money now to pay it, but i do want to meet my kids,, COULD YOU PLEASE pay this time?' I promise it will be totally ok to me if we have money. but if she continusly disturbe me and tell her daughter that i am a bad woman..., i will not give her any offer. I can give good offer to the kids, but not to his ex. that is two concepts. if a person dont know how to thank for other's offer, there is no meaning to give an offer.
      i just want a fair play in my life now.
      maybe we can not offer their daughter a life like a real ricch princess, but she and my daughter will be our princesses in our family.

      but seem her ex. only wants her ATM, nothing else. and my man is so scared of his ex.because she knew that their daughter is his weakpoint.

    • vaasauniversity

      I am Just crying back from hospital, and my tears still running down my face. I saw the sonic pic of the baby in my body from hospital, it was really huge hit to me, my heart just tightly catched by great pain and I can not help to cry when i saw it.because I never saw this kind of small baby's pic in my country, and he is in my body and growing and now I have to force him out. my heart just like a glass cup drop on the concrete ground and break into pieces, I even can hear the sound!I am so sorry for him, for his misfate with me, he will let me expereince more pain and helpless feeling on Friday.
      I was crying home, and my husband just did not say anything, my sorrow has nothing to do with him, the whole time, He did not give me any sign of comfort, he even did not come closer to me.I can not dream that he will give me a hug when I am crying for OUR BABY and he is still my husband today, and he still told me that he is not a cold hearted husband. so i dont know how cold is the cold in finland. i think if i go with any of my freinds, at least, I will get friendly hug and friendly comfort. is this finnish culture and finnish custom, or this is real finnish MAN?

    • voihan voihan

      on sulla tsäkä naisten kanssa... ehkä seuraava on jo kunnollinen?

    Ketjusta on poistettu 0 sääntöjenvastaista viestiä.

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