Kurikkalainen vaimo

This couple in Kurikka had only been married for two weeks. The husband from Turku, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back......” “Where are you going coochy cooh?” asked his wife. “I’m going to the bar in Turku, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife says to him, “You want a beer my love?” Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kids of beer brands from 12 different countries: Finland, Germany, Holland, Japan, Indiana, etc. The husband doesn’t know what to do, and the only thing he can think of to say is “Yes, loolie loolie....but the bar...you know...the frozen glass....” He didn’t get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying “You want a frozen glass puppy face?” She takes a huge mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, says “Yes tootsie, roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious...I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise OK?” “You want hors d’oeuvres poochi pooh?” She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres; chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, port strips, etc. “But sweet honey....at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that...” “You want dirty words cutie pie?...HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT ASSHOLE?!”