Damn, life its sooo twisted:(.
I am falling in love with my next door neighbour who is married with kids.
He likes me too and he expressed himself in that way in the most subtile way :). I respect families, i respect marriage but the only think I can see is HIM:(. Damn, I am a grown up (i think so) and i am unable to control my feelings toward a man that will never belong to me.
Please, help me, advice me what to do?
I am falling in love with my next door neighbour who is married with kids.
He likes me too and he expressed himself in that way in the most subtile way :). I respect families, i respect marriage but the only think I can see is HIM:(. Damn, I am a grown up (i think so) and i am unable to control my feelings toward a man that will never belong to me.
Please, help me, advice me what to do?
Vastaukset 14
Vanhimmat
Hi!
Umm.. Why didnt you ask this in finnish? It would be a lot easier to talk in finnish than english. For me its the same, i was born outside Finland, but i bet youll get a lot more answers in finnish :)
What to do? The cold fact is that men rarely divorce their wives for a fling.
I didnt put it in finnish because i dont dare to write finnish:(.
Anyways, thank you for the answer. Actually the question was what should I do?? I was not thinking soo far, to get him divorced or apart from his wife/family.
You should keep busy in other area in your life, away from the next door nabour who's married and a father. You should just act like an adult and try to resist the feeling.
I know it's hard but I also know (from personal experience) that the feeling doesn't last forever and passes the quicker you start fading it instead of feeding it.
Go outside, meet other men, get involved with everything that takes you away from home and the chance of meeting this nabour etc.
Do not give love a chance!
Mind is a powerful tool! Never forget that.
Thank you, I should really hope i will succeed this because othewise i would put myself in a very shity situation:(.
It is hard especially when we like eachother. I am just wondering what's in his head to act like that? Is it because his marriage doesnt work or because he is used to do that?? Or....???
You cannot know of his motivations untill you ask him, and that is not very recomendable. The most important thing is to be true to your own moral, your resposibility as a woman towards another woman of whose feeling you can understand, and also to try to act the way that you can feel proud about.
You wish that nobody would ever do the same to you once you're married and a mother, do you?! So keep that in mind, don't do anything you don't wish to experience yourself and find yourself another man.
Of course it's wonderfully tail lifting experience to get attention from a man, but there is always the background to be concidered as well. And you're wice to take that into consideration from the beginning.
You're protecting them and their marital happines and also yourself from pain and real misery.
You don't want to be anything but a nice and pretty nabour, and that's all, yes?
Then act like one.
Thank you to you too:).
This was a great piece of advice. Well, I have never experienced that but i can imagine how painful that can be. I have childrem myself and I wouldnt do any harm to no kids or human being so, my heart should waith her turn in this one.
I surelly wouldn't be proud of myself doing such a think as "whatever comes" with my married next door neighbour:)
The hardness and hell comes from the feeling, because romantic love is very selfish a feeling. It's me, me, me and my needs, my feelings, my happiness, and so it's very easy to forget about everything else.
Reason (sense) is there to help you get over the most demanding moments, it forces you to think also about life after that first wave of very lovely feeling. Reasoning helps you to understand that following blindly the feeling has also consequences.
With falling in love comes also the reasponsibility - so mad as it sounds but it's true.
When a person is in love, everything naturally fights abainst reasoning because the feeling is so immens. That's why it's easier also to make mistakes when in love, i.e. things that afterwards feel quite rediculous once the feeling has died down.
If you just follow your mad feeling, you end up doing something which can be quite harmful for many people in 2 families. And once it's done you'll have to face the music that comes after. There' s no escaping from that. And the most horrible war is usually battled inside yourself, not outside.
Anyway, I wish you a very pleasant summer and few more interesting males from which to choose!
:)
Well, I wish I could have the chance to "talk" to you more:) (.,,.) . You are a really wise person.
Thank you very much for the advicess. Anyways, I made up my mind, I wont go for it:).
Have a great day and a nice summer.
PS: As about "interesting men" ..... hard to beleive I will find any :(
Just leave that man alone. It truly is so stupid to hang around married men. You only make yourself look like an idiot, well- not only an idiot- but a desperate idiot.
Spend your time and energy for unmarried men your own age, preferably without kids.
I will never gonna hang on ANY man so it is not the case here.
The case is that i was falling for him, he likes me enough to go for it and I wanted to find more reasons why I should "remove" him from my heart.
Thank you anyway.
"Hang around"tässä tapauksessa tarkoittaa roikkua henkisesti, llimata itsensä henkisesti, käyttää ajatustilaa idioottimaisen typerästi to even think about a married men, especially with a wife and children.
Sure, you show interest in him (by being a stupid fool) and he catches the bite. Before you know, he'll be knocking your door, when he sees that you are an easy lay, a horny bitch. If he already shows interest in you, the signals you have been sending have been too obvious for anyone to miss.
You keep playing this horny stupid game and you WILL get hurt. And it would serve you right!
I have found the love of my life finally :). He is divorced as I am to, he has 2 kids as i have to, he is lovely and all that I have ever wanted.
I have, though, a dilema. He is living 300km away from me and he cant move to my place because his kids are living there. I have a nice, god job here and if i move there ill loose the job.
What the hell shall I do???
300 km is not so long distance. Get a driving license and a car :)
You have a good job...
Sometimes you (and he) need time only with your own kids.
You should fall in love with someone else :). New love is a cure for the old one.