ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all... seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all... seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!
Vastaukset 6
Vanhimmat
Nothing new under the sun... heard that thousands of times before.
"You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work."
Se tärkein asia jäi uupumaan: Mitä oikeasti siis pitää tehdä?
Eli parisuhteen eteen pitää tehdä töitä, mutta mitä se käytännössä tarkoittaa?
"Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!" Tämä lopetus oli aika kummallinen.
Kirjoitus ei muutenkaan vakuuta. Jotta parisuhde olisi onnistunut, ensin pitää tehdä todella onnistunut kumppanivalinta. Eli ensin pitää valita oikein ja sitten toimia oikein. Useat erot johtuvat siitä, että toisilleen täysin sopimattomat parit ovat menneet yhteen. Täytyy huomata, että toisilleen täysin sopimattomat ihmiset voivat myös rakastua toisiinsa. Mutta rakastuminen on tärkeää kunhan se kohdistuisi sopivaan henkilöön. Hyvä parisuhde ei ole aivan helppo juttu.
Parinvalinnassa täytyy jo aluksi ottaa toisen ominaispiirteet huomioon. Jos ne miellyttää, voi liittyä yhteen / alkaa seurustella. Jos toinen on kuin vieraalta planeetalta, ei kannata mennä yhteen. Jos seurustelun alkuvaiheessa toisesta ilmenee jotain tosi epämiellyttävää, on syytä erota. Sen tähden seurusteluaika on tärkeä, eli tutustumisvaihe.
Tässä kohtaa monilla menee mönkään; tahdotaan prinsessahäitä ja lapsia nopeasti, jolloin ei oteta huomioon niitä ärsyttäviä piirteitä eikä arjen pyörittelyä, vaan rynnitään kiirestii naimisiin. Osalla saattaa olla pätemisen tarvetta kavereiden silmissä varsinkin, jos on nuorena ollut ongelmia.
Jos kaikki on kuitenkin mennyt putkeen, onnistunut suhde vaatii silti hoitamista. Toisen pieni piristäminen tylsän arjen keskellä on erittäin fiksua!!!! Toista tulee huomioda ja muistuttaa, että mikään ei ole itsestään selvää! Jos menee joskus tosi huonosti itsellä, eikä tee mieli toisen kosketusta, kannattaa se ääneen sanoa, että nyt pyyhkii huonosti esim. töissä..... Toiselle täytyy osata antaa tilaa ja aikaa toipua elämän kolhuista. Kaikille niitä tulee kumminkin jossain vaiheessa!
Loppu vesittää valitettavasti koko kirjoituksen. Sehän oikeastaan sanoo että Jumala on sen jonkun ihmisen (johon rakastuit) eteesi heittänyt ja nyt siis sinun ei auta muu kuin opetella häntä rakastamaan riippumatta siitä onko hän sinusta sopiva tai ei. Jotenkin lisäksi veikkaan että kirjoittajan mielestä erotakaan ei saa.
Meikäpä tajus koko tekstin.