Juttuklassikkko joka oli jo ennen kuin internetistä oli kuultukaan:
- Hello, are you there?
- Yes, who are you please?
- I'm Watt.
- What's your name?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, what's your name?
- My name is John Watt.
- John what?
- Yes, are you Jones?
- No, I'm Knott.
- Will you tell me your name then?
- Will, Knott.
- Why not?
- My name is Knott.
- Not what?
- Not Watt, Knott.
- What?
--
Kuinka moni muistaa?...
- Hello, are you there?
- Yes, who are you please?
- I'm Watt.
- What's your name?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, what's your name?
- My name is John Watt.
- John what?
- Yes, are you Jones?
- No, I'm Knott.
- Will you tell me your name then?
- Will, Knott.
- Why not?
- My name is Knott.
- Not what?
- Not Watt, Knott.
- What?
--
Kuinka moni muistaa?...
Vastaukset 8
Vanhimmat
Musiikkia viikonlopun viihteeksi:
Bin Laden - Bomb Song
Dayo Dayo
Daylight come and we drop-a dee bomb
Pay we say pay we say payload
Kick your ass then we gonna come home
George Bush Say that revenge come
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
Load them bombs til the morning come
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
Come Mr. Taliban turn over Bin Laden
Colin Powell gonna bomb his home
Come Mr. Taliban turn over Bin Laden
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
Let one bomb two bomb hit the floor
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
Six bomb seven bomb eight bomb more
Cruise missile knocking at your door
Come Mr. Taliban Tally Me Bin Laden
Colin Powell gonna bomb his home
Come Mr. Taliban turn over me Bin Laden
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
Let one bomb two bomb hit the floor
Daylight come and we drop dee bomb
six bomb seven bomb eight bomb more
Cruise missile knocking at your door
Dayo We say dayo
kick your ass then we wanna come home
http://www.uspatrioticpictures.com/music/@Patriotic - U.S.mp3
Ihan kiva sanoitus!
Lyriikkaa samaan melodiaan muutamalla kielellä:
http://w1.871.telia.com/~u87125666/lyrics/dayo.htm
...Abbot ja Costello- koomikkoparin sanavaihto nimeltä Who´s on First. Muistaako kukaan? Myös ajalta jolloin internetistä ei oltu kuultuaan.
A bus stops and two Jamaican men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine", retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady", said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi".
http://keskustelu.suomi24.fi/show.fcgi?category=2000000000000020&conference=1500000000000154&posting=20500000000292383
Words that Ought to Exist, but Don't!
1. ACCORDIONATED: Being able to drive and refold a map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS: Possessing the ability to turn off the bathtaps with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM: The point where a drinking fountain is at its perfect height.
4. BURGACIDE: The point where a burger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill to the coals.
5. BUZZACKS: People in phone shops who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dialing tones.
6. CARPERPETUATION: The act of running over an object with a vacuum cleaner at least 12 time, picking it up, examining it, then putting it back to give the vacuum one more chance.
7. DIMP: The person in a department store who insults you by asking if you work there.
8. DISCONFECT: To sterilize a sweet you have dropped by blowing on it assuming this will remove the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA: A rescue vehicle that can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES: Gangly people sitting in front of you at the cinema who no matter what direction you lean in, always follow suit.
11. ELBONICS: The actions of two people trying to get the one armrest between them.
12. ELECELLERATION: The mistaken notion that the more you press the lift button the quicker it will arrive.
13. FRUST: The small line of debris that refuses to be swept in the dust pan.
14. LACTOMANGULATION: Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a carton so badly that you have to resort to trying to open the other side.
15. NEONPHANCY: A light bulb struggling to come to life.
16. PETROPHOBIC: One who is embarrassed to undress in front of their pet.
17. PHONESIA: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you are calling just as they answer.
18. TELECRASTINATION: The act of always letting a phone ring at least twice even when you're six inches away from it.
A panda walks into café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shoots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces* a badly punctuated* wildlife manualand tosses* it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
To procedure ottaa esiin
To punctuate pilkuttaa (=varustaa välimerkein)
to toss viskata, heittää ilmaan
a shoot verso
a leaf/leaves lehti/lehdet
Kaksi saksalaisvakoojaa Britanniassa. Valioporukkaa, englanti sujuu ilman saksalaisaksenttia.
Agentteja janottaa, pubiin siis! Päättävät tilata jotain Saksassa vähemmän juotua juomaa välttyäkseen paljastumasta. Tulee edeskäypä ja herrat antavat tilauksensa.
- Two Martinis, please!
- Dry Martini?
– NEIN, NEIN, ZWEI!